I Drew Him from the Water: Adventure, Mystery, Intrigue
Marissa has led the life of a successful news anchor for ET News in Rameses, Egypt for about five years now. All was going well for this reporter until Moses came to town. Upon his arrival, she felt a stirring, a dissatisfaction, trouble in her soul.
A stranger by the name of Moses has shown up recently in Goshen, Egypt. Is this the Moses of old, the one who committed murder and ran? Assigned to do a documentary on Moses, Marissa plans on receiving her coveted Emmy. If only she had used her reporter's nose for what lied ahead of her to gain that Emmy. As her beloved Pharaoh finds himself doing battle with this Moses she's been assigned to, does she stay loyal to Pharaoh? If so, what price would she pay?
Marissa never dreamed of how her life and the lives of all those in Egypt would change the day this man called Moses came to town. How did Egypt's beloved Pharaoh become a victim of this Moses and his unknown God? Only time will tell.
Plot/Idea: 6 out of 10
Originality: 6 out of 10
Prose: 4 out of 10
Character/Execution: 5 out of 10
Overall: 5.25 out of 10
Assessment:
Plot: The concept of telling the story of Moses in the form of a documentary is a promising one. Ultimately, though, the intended audience for the book remains unclear.
Prose/Style: This manuscript is bogged down with somewhat awkward prose. Long monologues that read like extended exposition also interfere with the smoothness of the writing and reading experience.
Originality: The notion of presenting historical events as news is tried-and-true. This project utilizes this conceit to often fine effect and also integrates a fresh Biblical twist.
Character Development/Execution: While this is a solid idea, the execution would benefit from additional finessing. The newscasters speak in a way that is unnatural and may strike readers as slightly condescending at times.
Date Submitted: June 29, 2021
