At a young age, this author mastered the art of time travel, taught to him by whales from the Northern Lands of Riversome. Fast forwarding through life, a goat in an Iron Man costume chased him down the Vegas strip and kidnapped him, forcing him to write and keep writing till the year 3000. Escaping through a barrel over Niagara Falls, the author managed to find his way back to the year 2000, where he learned to harness the power of persuasion, lemon taming, and the dark arts of fireworks. Currently residing in an island three paces away from his own mind, the author lives in a cave with nothing but a well-lit candle, which never goes out, along with several action figures that he (perhaps a “she” with time) calls brother, sister, and madre. His only vice, cloning dogs and rabbits to save the world.