Whizzfiddle the wizard has to find a quest, get it contracted, and finish it to the letter within 30 days or he'll lose his guild membership status, meaning he'll have to actually work for a living. At the perpetual age of 650, this is really no longer an option. After interviewing countless people who are looking for a wizard to quest with, Whizzfiddle all but gives up. But then one last questing party arrives, and they're the oddest bunch he's seen in a long time--and being a wizard in the land of Ononokin, that's saying something! They have to traverse the portals from the Upperworld to the Underworld; deal with Trolls, Ogres, Gorgans, Orcs, and worst of all...Humans; survive the land of professional salespeople; go through the afterlife; and fight to avoid Whizzfiddle's disgruntled past-apprentice's attempts to thwart them at every turn. Going through all of this makes Whizzfiddle wonder if maybe he shouldn't just give up magic and go back to his roots of being a farmer.