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Formats
Paperback Details
  • 04/2018
  • 978-1999960711 B079RF8VHY
  • 258 pages
  • $10.99
Kindle Edition eBooks Details
  • 02/2018
  • 9781999960766 B079RF8VHY
  • 157 pages
  • $6.99
Tony Page
Author
Secret Box: Searching for Dad in a Century of Self
Tony Page, author

When the author, a psychologist, opens a box stored in the attic since his father's death, his life is interrupted by an unstoppable quest that drives him to confront an ancient taboo in order to understand why his father changed.

Reliving sweet and bitter emotions, he struggles to understand what actually occurred, until he assembles the fuller story using tools he learned as a developmental psychologist. He finds his father engulfed by the Human Potential Movement of the 1960s that experimented with new ways of living, what broke up their happy family and why he became a psychologist in the first place.

This shows us a "century of self" from Freud's therapy through wild and sometimes cruel idealism to the promise of global human connection that hooked today's Selfie generation but arguably leaves them no happier. We are caused to reflect on who we are, what we want with each other and what we owe the next generation. With insights into our cravings for freedom and the part we can play towards the fulfilment of those in our families, this set of stories bring us face to face with a universal question: how can we be different and better than those who brought us up?

Reviews
Ann Campanella on Amazon

Five stars.

An absorbing, powerful… memoir reads like a mystery… takes us on a tour… to unravel the enigmatic, perplexing memories after alifetime of silence. The author recreates the drama of his childhood, illuminating the darker side of a father caught up in the self-gratification of the Human Potential Movement in the 1960s.

A fascinating portrait weaves together scenes from his present and past,  unveiling how the sharing of stories has the potential to produce understanding and hope.

Diane Pomerantz on Amazon

Five stars.

A poignant and sterling memoir of his search to understand his relationship with his father ... he then takes it a step further to explore the meaning of the relationship between fathers and sons more generally: quite a formidable task and (he) does an admirable job with it.

Once a writer puts his story out into the world... the story is forever transformed by every reader and becomes a myriad of stories… goes far beyond the father-son relationship. This is a story of families. As a woman I could strongly identify with (the mother): she had to protect her children but what could she do?

This is a story of narcissism and how it impacts an entire family and the generations that follow. It is a wonderful psychological memoir that speaks to many of the current issues of today. I highly recommend it.

Eric McDowell on Amazon

Five stars.

Engrossing. Respectful. We examine the father… caught up in a “cult of self” via the Human Potential Movement of the 1960s. Not a blame game; Page exudes compassion on every page as he gropes in darkness for understanding.

The writing in these scenes is captivating. An illuminating series of appendices provide background on methods that have influenced Page’s own practice. He discusses the value of writing as therapy, making a kind of collaboration towards insight. There is a humorous scene between the respected R. D. Laing and Carl Rogers in a mesmerizing “rebirthing,” wherein a patient goes through a symbolic birth canal journey to begin life anew.

(A) wealth of food for the mind, it’s a book to savour for maximum benefit and understanding. Highly recommended.

Gordon Lyle on Amazon

Five stars.

Philip Larkin may have been right about the impact our parents have on us but, in this compelling and intriguing tale of exploration, the author is determined not to be ‘handed on misery’ and rather to open hearts and minds, to learn lessons and to hand these on instead. Brave and very personal, not many books make their impact as viscerally as this.

Gordon Lyle, former VP HR Starbucks

J Keeley on Amazon

Five stars.

… what I love is the raw nature of this whole set of nested stories rolled into one: the story of a dad, of a parents' of doing all the research and of a son’s own secure marriage full of honest conversation.

Through all this, the richness of developmental psychology (is) laid bare: how we get to be where we are, and how important it is for us to understand how we turned out the way we did and at the same time to honour the parents that also were not pure despite how much we want them to be.

Tony Page is a rare kind of storyteller and it is worth reading his other books too, Diary of A Change Agent and Hippos to Gazelles: raw, rich, real stories of life.

Jamie Michele for Readers' Favorite

Five stars.Intelligently written, I enjoyed the writing style as if being told a story by a friend. When the author's father dies, his father's third wife hands him a box that sits unopened for over a decade. Tony Page begins the difficult journey of finding out who his father really was. He turns inwardly for the healing that all of us in similar situations wish for. Thoughtful... wholly engrossing.

Mary A Joyce on Amazon

Five stars.

Touching and sensitive, funny in places, and extremely enjoyable, this is one of those special pieces of writing where the author skilfully tells a compelling story whilst at the same using his professional knowledge to demonstrate the psychological insight that can help all of us understand more about our own family relationships and dynamics.

Ms B Bloomfield on Amazon

Five stars.

As someone interested in writing memoir, I was fascinated by this story. A high concept idea, unravelling secrets in the family, turns it into a very readable memoir mainly about a father who turned from a God fearing do-Gooder into a sybaritic hippy and womaniser, leaving four children puzzled and abandoned.

The author reflects on the selfie/selfish generation that we have become. A memoir that is not at all misery but thoughtful and thought provoking. This is a good read.

Sally Phillips on Amazon

Five stars.

A great story and a gripping read. I couldn't put my copy down and had to return in haste to Amazon for further copies as presents for friends and colleagues.

We learn how a man who marries for love and sets out to do good in the world by the 1960s has become delusional, deranged at times, and completely centred on meeting his own, un-meetable needs. It was the 1960s, I was there, I remember the excitement of the anti-psychiatry movement and the huge emphasis on human potential and individual freedom. These provided context and connivance for the father's actions.

Secret Box fascinates as a real-life record of authorial research. His father has left a box of papers and diaries which the author, supported by his wife, finally decides to open and investigate. Conversations with surviving relatives are recorded, former scenes of family drama re-visited (with) psychotherapeutic methods made transparent as the author recreates the most puzzling family situations.

Finally, there's a heart-lifting chapter in which the author re-visits the scene of one of his father's human potential workshops, now a clinic for recovering addicts. It's a lovely validation of real human potential, based on trust, honesty and individual responsibility, and sits in contrast to the lies, hypocrisy and lack of responsibility that characterised the father's demise. While the author does speak with some detachment, there's no mistaking his compassion for his flawed, damaged parent.

All in all, a great book.

StellaB on Amazon

Four stars.

.… searingly honest …works brilliantly in bringing to life that period  inthe sixties and seventies when old certainties, the known and familiar were cast a side in pursuit of adventure and risk, the experimental and the new (with) a parent's total absorption in and commitment to se lf.Skil fully, albeit painfully, depicted and kudos too to the redoubtable Helen whose insights, pragmatic scepticism and unwavering support enabled the author to finally find his father.

Tritia Neeb on Amazon

Five stars.

As soon as the secret box is open, you must continue to the final page. A story about a quest that is exciting, emotional, funny, insightful and at times difficult. People have told stories for centuries, which keeo their hopes and tragedies alive long after those people have passed away. Here the author shows us the courage needed to make those shadows disappear.

Tritia Neeb, Consultant in Personal and Team Development, Djihn, Netherlands

Formats
Paperback Details
  • 04/2018
  • 978-1999960711 B079RF8VHY
  • 258 pages
  • $10.99
Kindle Edition eBooks Details
  • 02/2018
  • 9781999960766 B079RF8VHY
  • 157 pages
  • $6.99
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