Simon & Emily are in love. They’re also damned to hell.
It’s complicated, but trust me, I’ll walk you through the details.

Perhaps I should introduce myself:
Hi, I’m your narrator, and I talk too much. However, this is a story that requires lots of words to be told, lots of tangents and FAR too many expletives.
Jane Austen, this is not.

In this tome you’ll find Faustian deals, sex, expletives, comedy, tragedy, expletives, comedy, horror, comedy and expletives.
And it’s funny, did I mention it’s funny?

Also, the world ends and the heroes go to hell.*