Success. Happiness. Wealth. These prizes are hard to capture when you feel like a tortoise in a race against hares. Everyone looks happier than you, they have the relationships you wish you had, and they capture the jobs you should’ve gotten. Always, they appear smarter, more successful, and wealthier. But appearances can be deceiving. In The Tortoise Way, you’ll learn the most unconventional ways to battle depression, failure, lack of purpose, and attention-deficit disorder by employing novel approaches such as soft suicides, embracing enemies, and challenging yourself to employ the silver rule. These aren’t ideas you’ll hear anywhere else, told in such an up-front style. You’ll clench the win. The hares will lead most of the race—this is guaranteed, but it’s time to live the Tortoise Way, put your nose down, and beat them to the finish.