The coauthors’ side-splitting debut (after a series of personal finance books from Wall) follows a budding self-help author determined to illustrate how anyone can achieve “phenomenal success” through his system. Gary Speedwell, 33, possesses unshakable confidence (“success will be within your grasp—every bit as much as it is within mine”) as he offers ironically misguided opinions to his readers. Despite enduring two back-to-back breakups and a boring job at a hauling company in London, Gary is convinced that his love life, fame, and wealth are just waiting to soar once his book is published. Struggles with his rent, his exes, and his sexy supervisor are played out through ludicrous descriptions of how to overcome those very obstacles. The misinformed Gary, who names Marie Curie as an inventor of radio and calls Voltaire a “she,” advises lovelorn men to remember that every single woman “wants a partner who’s not afraid to take control.” The sensible tone and reliance on gendered norms make Gary’s otherwise inept advice tenable to his followers, adding another layer to the mordant humor. The authors prove themselves masters at couching preposterous statements in a rational tone, and pull off a laugh-out-loud satire. (Self-published)