Em L. Smith was born a while ago in the northern United States, although her roots are southern and her accent is Californian. She is the author of numerous unpublished fiction and non-fiction books, all of which have never been rejected by a major or minor publishing house. This impressive claim also includes a vast number of literary agents who also have never rejected her manuscripts, only her query letters asking if they would look at her manuscripts and represent them to publishers. As timing would have it, their stables were already filled with best-selling authors, but best of luck. Thus inspired with hope and incentive, Smith continued to write many more millions of words, honing her skills until a stall became available. She avoids a lean, hungry look by eating butter.

Throughout her prolific career, Smith has sold humorous material to numerous outlets for loose change, occasionally paper money—cartoons, columns in weekly or free newspapers, community features in dailies, magazine fillers (quips, puns, shorts, briefs—wherever awkward spaces need to be covered). She has lived all over the United States, from somewhere southwest of Cleveland to deserts to rainforests. She ultimately stumbled into the ground-breaking world of Amazon and joined the publishing revolution. Smith’s newest work, “The Soul Dick: An American Romance,” taps into the angst and frustration of most Americans, the ninety-nine percent who are plenty pissed.

When she isn’t writing she is thinking about writing, often well past bedtime, making copious notes on whatever paper she could find on her nightstand until the unfortunate night she blew her nose and discovered the ruined tissue contained the most brilliant novel of her career. She now keeps a writing tablet beside her pillow.

Smith believes in going the distance for what she believes in, and hopes someday this will lead to a warm island, with free fruit.