JEDEDIAH CLYDE was born at the bottom of an abandoned mine shaft, where his mother was living a conceptual art work in progress. He was not exposed to sunlight until he was ten months old. Despite this caliginous nativity, Clyde grew up to become the semi-professional wrestler known as Photon Phil. His first written work was a memoir of his wrestling exploits entitled Unitarded. Every work penned by Clyde since has been panned and scorned universally by critics, some of whom have had to receive injections of Diazepam to relieve the acute anxiety and panic brought on by knowledge that such works exist.