My earliest memory of feeling different and out of place in this world was Woodlin elementary school. I’ve always known I was different, closest thing I had to friend was my librarian Ms. Stevens. She would let me go to library during lunch to read Dr. Seuss books. She was my first real friend she was also the first friend to gift me a present I recall her gifting me a Dr. Seuss miniature sculpture of grinch for Christmas. I knew from that moment it didn’t matter I had a lot of friends or people who would like me, I just knew quality will always beat quantity. Life at home I was always close with my siblings we used to share one bedroom my older brother and younger brother Jonathan and Hector shared one bed and my late sister who was honestly a mother to me shared a bed together. Most people would hate sharing a room and for a while, I did but I had grown accustomed and I felt safe knowing my sister was always by my side. From a young age I’ve had dealt with depression, anxiety, suicide thoughts, sleep paralysis. I’ve never known peace or solace unless I was writing and turning it into something beautiful. Something worth the sorrow, I’ve felt throughout my life. I recall telling someone, “every thorn has its rose” in response to her “every rose has its thorns” and I didn’t think much of it until I really sat with it and thought there wouldn’t even be a beautiful outcome of a rose if the thorn did not remotely exist. The pain of losing sister due to Covid complications in April 21st 2021 and just seeing her condition afterwards holding her, I am reminded I am human. As easily as I can be brought up to this world I could easily be taken out and I had to remember that, I had to feel it, I had to let it dwell inside of me. There’s so much pain and so much anguish I carry but if I didn’t carry it I wouldn’t have the grace and empath I now feel to express it not just in writing but in every conversation, every embrace, every prayer. And ultimately every action. Everything I do stems from the same embodiment and purity my sister Ana Elizabeth Jimenes carried all throughout her life. I am aware this is an autobiography but everything I am ultimately stems from her. She was my parent, my guardian, my sister, my bestfriend. We all carry some similar and some different types of traumas but it’s always about how you hand it and how you choose to carry it after that leaves the greatest impact not just to yourself but to others. I want everything I do to stem from love, nothing less nothing more.