I was quite young when the concept of writing first made itself known to me.  My mind would constantly invent all manner of strange, vivid fantasies, with stories that would evolve into a life of their own.  These character relationships made me think they were real and meaningful, as they were not imaginary friends, but characters with real social observations.

My boundless imagination passionately expanded to another world altogether.  There I would challenge what I knew, and what I thought I definitely understood!  At this early age I dared to expand beyond myself, and beyond my understanding.  I began to comprehend that these new characters and their actions were at a deeper, more intimate and organic level.

I didn't know at that time, that this was the beginning of the writer starting to stir deep within me.

Years ticked by, life went on, I grew up, but I never stopped thinking, pondering, imagining, calculating and linking all these thoughts, ideas and feelings together!  Not a day went by where a whole mass of ideas and realisations would just snap into focus in the back of my mind, and yes, sometimes in the front too!  They interrupted whatever I was thinking at the time.  There was never any warning, instead, they would just arrive and present themselves clearly and focussed.  Some were so strong and demanding that they took over my focus completely, if only for a few seconds!  This was thrilling!

However, the power of my words and how to wield them on the written page, took more time to come to me.  We tussled and battled for coherent understanding over wide and vast, yet common grounds.  It wasn't easy, but this was the birth of my organic writing process, which was and is bonded to every morsel of my inner self.  The characters could speak their most intimate thoughts to me, loudly, honestly, and without fear of censorship or concern for any personal judgement.  These characters came first, overriding my personal feelings and any limitations.  The more I noticed my characters, the more I grew, and the clearer the dialogue between us became.

Surprisingly, the romance genre did not present itself first, but rather, it became quite by happenstance from a female character in another novel.  She was smart, stubborn and strong willed, yet she wanted more.  This became quite clear to me, as her dissatisfaction was palpable.  The story would not go on, until this was sorted!  At first I was a little unclear exactly what was needed, perhaps more personality, or more depth.  Yes.  But more than that, she wanted the freedom to express her inner feelings, as she wanted love, the freedom to fall in love, her way, regardless of what might transpire.  It was made clear that this was to have nothing to do with me!  Now, enter the romance genre.  She got what she wanted.  Her story morphed into another book and the love she demanded she received.

Kareena was born.

In return, as a humble author, I received the unforgettable satisfaction of watching her find happiness, as her story came to life.

Ironically, what started out as my side project to enhance her character development, quickly turned my passion towards the romance genre.  Needless to say Kareena was satisfied, verging on smug, that I had the good sense to get out of her way.  The joy of seeing her discover her inner courage, then grow and explore her desire for true love, and ultimately take the risk of a partner to share her love with, was an extremely addictive and satisfying experience for me.  It caused me to believe that love is the ultimate and true essence of freedom itself!

A fascination of all things 'people' tuned me to their 'passion experience', for their lives and their personal stories.  I have never stopped being fascinated by people, with all the aspects of being human, from the downright ugly, to the most humble and happy.  At any point of the day, I'd find myself watching them, studying their movements, their actions, their speech, their expressions and drawing all manner of conclusions, whether right or wrong.  All this entertains my mind, keeps me wondering, and often causes surprises.

Of course, writing organically means I never get to plan anything in advance.  I have tried, but I have since learned not to bother.  My characters always see to that!  Each day is a surprise to me, as I never know what I am going to write the next minute, or the next sentence.  It is like reading an unknown subject, but the words and story come in a steady, yet, clear stream. This is a wonderful and enjoyable process.  Although, sometimes, as a bit of fun, I have been known to tease my characters and attempt to take charge of the direction of their story, if only for just a brief moment.  But it never works, though!  They're always quick to push back and sometimes hard, if needed, and claim back control of their story.

I'm the observer only, the one that does that 'writing down' bit. And, I'm so happy to do so!  I just can't help to remind my characters, once in a while, that I'm the one with the keyboard!  Writing organically (never knowing what is to follow), is a thoroughly exhilarating experience.  It certainly does wonders to keep one's mind sharp and focused, knowing that at any moment the story may change direction, mood or personality.  Fairly easy to see then, that this throws "what the book might be called" into a black hole!

However, being an author is a privilege and a wonderful joy for me, even if the book title is 'cloudy' and a mystery until finished!