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Kindle Edition eBooks Details
  • 07/2017
  • 978-953-59581-0-9 B071FTK9HV
  • 105 pages
  • $2.99
Paperback Details
  • 09/2017
  • 978-9535958116
  • 105 pages
  • $8.99
Bernard Jan
Author
A World Without Color: A True Story Of the Last Three Days With My Cat
Bernard Jan, author

Marcel was not only Bernard’s cat; he was his everything. His brother, his friend, his whole world. And then he was gone.

One story. Two endings. Genuine and fictional. Which ending is yours?

What do you say to someone who is dying? And what do you say when that someone can’t understand a word you are saying? How do you comfort each other throughout . . . and beyond?

My love, if you go away in a few days, the world will lose its colors and darken like the land of Mordor. If you go away and leave me to wander aimlessly, alone . . . I’m afraid I won’t survive.

With nothing else left except for heartbreak and the world of darkness, how do you survive when suicide seems to be the only way out after losing your beloved pet?

If you like powerful stories, heart-rending emotions, and honest characters, you’ll love Bernard Jan’s compelling memoir.

Buy your copy of A World Without Color written in the form of a heartfelt and moving novella.

Reviews
Mrs Miller at Amazon UK

A heartbreaking account of the last days spent with a beloved friend that takes the reader through a rollercoaster of emotions. As each stage of Marcel’s last days unfolded, I was gripped with deep sadness and could relate to the devastation of loss. I applaud the author for sharing this very honest experience.

Adam Webling at The YA Literary Bookshelf

This sweet autobiographical novella will pull your heart strings all the way through. So many of us know what it’s like to lose a pet (or close to fifteen in my case) and it’s one of the worst things. A World Without Color encapsulates this feeling as we follow Bernard’s last days with his beloved cat. I immediately knew how he was feeling from the first sentences and rode it out with him and the memories of my own loses flew rapidly to the forefront of my mind. He captured it so well and you want everything to be OK even through you know there’s no going back. This emotional tale of a man losing his best friend truly shows how pets really are the best thing for us.

Review also posted on Amazon UK and Goodreads.

Amazon Customer

A World Without Color illuminates how our pets are as dear to us as a beloved brother, mother or friend. The tale is poetic, heartfelt and unique. I was pleased to read such a fine story by a talented, compassionate author. Blessed be, Marcel.

Amazon Customer

A book that will exercise your heart strings as it is brimming with emotions. Keep that box of tissues close. Recommend it.

Andy Marr at Goodreads

This is an incredibly beautiful and touching book. The writing is excellent and the subject poignant. The fact that I was unable to finish the book should not be taken as a criticism; I lost my sister a few years ago and it turns out that this story was just too much for me at present. That said, the book remains on my Kindle, and I fully intend to read it in its entirety when my mind is a little easier.

Angel Ramon Medina at The Hybrid Nation

What do you say to someone who is dying? And what do you say when that someone can't understand a word you are saying? How do you comfort each other throughout... and beyond?

My love, if you go away in a few days, the world will lose its colors and darken like the land of Mordor. If you go away and leave me to wander aimlessly, alone in this sea become wild, like a ship with a broken rudder and drowned sailors, and if I don't find comfort in the warmth of your body, clutched in my embrace at the end of the day, I'm afraid I won't survive.

"I don't regret anything. Marcel was not only my cat, he was my everything. My brother, my friend, my world shrank in a soft gray-striped furry ball."—Bernard Jan

Characters: 5/5 Stars

The book focuses on Marcel a cat that I assume belonged to Bernard. It's written in like a strange but well written Second Person point of view. For me, that is pretty hard to write and pull off. I can sense that Bernard really loved his cat and he put many great details that enhance the characterization. You can learn a few cool tricks if you are an author trying to build a lovable character.

Plot: 5/5 Stars

The plot is an emotional one and one that made me cry! Yes, this book made me cry, don't judge me please lol. It's about the last three days of a cat named Marcel and gives the point of view of the cat living through memories. It also describes the actual feelings the three days before Marcel dies. To add to the shock factor, Bernard also included a picture of Marcel which made me emotional. If you're looking for a sad story then this is for you. This is a great break after reading and writing action novels. 

Writing Structure: 4.5/5 Stars

A few portions of the book were a bit tricky to follow and I had to reread it. However, since Bernard's native language is not English I won't count it against him too much.  

Ending: 5/5 Stars

The Ending is where I cried the most since its where Marcel dies and I can tell it was a very painful loss for Bernard. I felt that I was Bernard at the end of the book, I love books that pull me in and make me feel that I'm part of the book. You'll have to read it for yourself to experience this.

Overall 4.8/5 Stars

Minus a few parts that I had to reread this is a great book to read and you can sure see why Bernard is an animal lover. Warning it will make you cry and if you love cats this might be a painful but powerful read. Highly Recommend!

Angela Hayes at Amazon Australia

A World Without Color: A True Story of the Last Three Days With My Cat by Bernard Jan is a heartfelt story about the loss of his cat Marcel to Diabetes. While it may seem a macabre topic, the story itself is an incredibly moving and powerful ‘tribute’ to his friend and companion. I’m not going to lie- this book broke me! It didn’t hit close to home- it hit dead centre! On the 15th of September my fur-ever friend Max (my 13 year-old Burmese Cat) died from diabetes. I am still raw from the whole experience- so this book was entirely too relatable.
The raw, and honest account is heart-wrenching to say the least. But the story is so much more than that. It is a story of love, friendship, family, bonds, comfort, grief, and healing- and I really appreciate Bernard Jan sharing his thoughts and emotions with us in this poignant and memorable story.

Thank you, Bernard Jan!

Anna Casament Arrigo at Goodreads

Is it possible to love someone greater than you love yourself? How do you feel when the one you love is suffering so much? Do you wish there was something you COULD do or say to make that suffering go away? Sometimes, we may be faced with the raw emotions that come with watching someone we love slowly dying before us. Sometimes, that someone (and I considered my fur babies as someone and not things-things don’t breathe OR LOVE YOU unconditionally), is our beloved four-legged companions and, yes, even, the joy, happiness, comfort, and even our good fortune (and fortune is, most certainly, never, in my humble opinion, monetary). In any case, this pull-at-your-heart strings read is a visceral memoir that spans a mere three days (that for pet families are an eternity and simultaneously a lifetime) of a bittersweet goodbye. For ANYONE who has ever loved (a fur baby) and lost, then, this IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST READ!! Tissues and remember to breathe. Wish I could rate it >5⭐️s!!!

Arushi Singh at Amazon

I love this book. love the cover.

Bibiana Krall at Goodreads

An usually private, and honest narrative delving into the relationship between a beloved cat and a human. 

This is not a "pet" story. Rather, it is a love story of a giving friendship that takes us well past the every day and into the deepest part of what makes humans and other animals emotional beings. I was unsure as I read how I felt about this, never having experienced this depth with an animal, because I grew up on a farm. You can't get too close, not ever. 

Allowing the words to wash over me, the poetic rendering of war outside the windows, the departure of a writer's flowery artiface to potentially over explain a relationship was thankfully not abused and I connected to the purity of the words themselves. For some reason as I read, I was reminded of the tone of the novel, "It's a Brave, New World." The heartbreaking aspects of animal cruelty, war and a search for peace, external and internal comes into play. This is not the same genre as the book I compared it to, but the message is there. I recommend this short story to anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet, but also to the elevated reader who enjoys a story with a strong undercurrent of social responsibility and a dystopian reflection of our world, as I often view it myself. 

"The intellectual superiority and developed, modern, mechanized killing systems."

Billy Buttons, The Wishing Shelf Book Awards at Goodreads

The Wishing Shelf Book Awards
16th December 2023
TITLE: A World Without Color
AUTHOR: Bernard Jan

Star Rating: 4

‘A well-written story exploring the sorrow and distress of losing a beloved pet.’ The Wishing Shelf

REVIEW
If you see animals as just, well, animals, then this book is probably not for you. But, if you love your pet; if it's not just a pet but a pal, a vital part of your life, then I think you’ll relate to Bernard Jan's thoughts and feelings on losing his beloved cat, Marcel. I happen to love my dog; for me, there's nothing better than curling up on the sofa with a good book and with Troy (that’s the dog’s name) sitting by my feet. So I related to this man's story. Saying that, I wouldn't say I enjoyed it (it's a bit too sad for that), but I did find it compelling.
There were a number of aspects to this author’s story I was particularly impressed with. Firstly, it’s well-written, the author possessing the writing skills to put over the high and lows of losing a pet. Secondly, I think readers who have recently faced losing a cat or a dog, or even a pet rabbit, will find this book helpful. It’s not overly long, but there’s a lot in here pet-loving readers will relate to and possibly find solace in. Finally, I liked Saša (who I think is a vet, but it never really says) and how the three adults (Bernard, the mom, and Saša) worked together to do the best by the animal.
So, if you happen to be an animal lover or you think, possibly, your beloved pet won’t be with you for much longer, this book might be of interest to you. It might be particularly helpful as a tool for preparing a person for the day when the cat/dog will be put down, and what you need to do to prepare yourself. All in all, a sad but captivating read.

‘Wishing Shelf’ Book Review
www.thewsa.co.uk

Bruce Collings at Amazon UK

This is an extremely well written and very painfully moving book about the loss of a cat ..
As an avid animal fan and real life cat owner I have suffered many losses in my life and this book captures my emotions very well .. great story great book

Carlos I. Gomezon at Amazon

When I started reading this book, I was sad and it only got worse. This book is a quick read, I would have finished it in a day, but my kitties kept preventing me from doing so making me lose my place, getting in my line of sight, sticking their heads out from under my Kindle, etc. The writing is marvelous and very very well written except for one thing however. This isn't such a big deal, but it's just one of my pet peeves that I have. It appears that Jan chose not to use quotation marks, I hate it when I have to guess who says who and when they say it. With his writing, however, you could make out who says what and there isn't much dialogue in the book. I'm just putting this as a heads up to those who are kind of like me to be warned. Besides that, I loved the whole story. I can't imagine what I would go through when my kitties may go through this.

With that said, as well, there's two kinds of people when someone is facing death. The ones that love you so much, they refuse to give up on you, which was this case; and the ones that love you so much that they want to end their suffering quickly. My family is like the book's narrator, they try to prolong your life and hope that you make it through. If it wasn't for this fact,I wouldn't be here writing this review. If they were to have asked me if I were to be dying on life support what would be my wishes? I would tell them to end my suffering, but fortunately for me, they fought and hoped for the better despite the circumstances and they were right. I'm just saying this because this story also brought this memory to me. This book makes up for the book I read before this one, I had to stop reading it but that has nothing to do with this review. I definitely recommend this book to read especially if you have a pet.

carolesleynaylor

A World Without Colour by Bernard Jan.

“Your presence in my life is like a room filled with lamps. When you’re gone, the brightest, the prettiest one will go out. And leave behind the half-light of unclear shadows.”

You could almost hear John Donne speaking so reverently and adoringly to his lover in endearing terms. Metaphysics. This eulogy is full of love and sadly, a lot of heartache. It is written beautifully in such a poetic style to help us to empathise with the author over a difficult three day period in which his pet died. For animal lovers, attached to their pets it will be easy to identify with the emotional horror of seeing a sick animal dying, being helpless to do anything other than watch the angel of death end his suffering: “I knew I would stay with you until the end, that we would spend life together.”

It began for Marcel, nicknamed Pipo when “the air was screaming with a siren alarm” with the rocket attacks in Zagreb when the kitten was discarded and unwanted, “sentenced to death immediately after birth.” Marcel and his siblings were tormented by local thugs who poured water over the kittens to kill them. Fortunately, there were animal lovers and the kittens were rescued. Jan became infatuated with this beautiful little ball of fur who gave him pleasure and amusement for 14 years 8 months and 27 days. Marcel united the family and gave meaning to Jan’s life. He eulogises Marcel’s worth using a string of meaningful words that perhaps you would associate with the best of mankind, words ranging from  incorruptibility to benevolence to purity. Hyperbole like Donne or simple adulation? After all there is a natural affinity between man and beast.

It is April, photos are taken, fond memories are reflected on as one very sick animal drifts inevitably to his final curtain and so doing, Jan states that the world will lose its colour and “darken like the land of Mordar.” Jan fell apart; he felt as if he had killed his precious animal and was left feeling guilty and full of remorse. His mother, also devastated like his father, pestered the author to write about Marcel so that his memory would live on through the power of his own writing. He certainly succeeded in doing that. Interesting, Jan decided to write two endings to this true story: one genuine, the other fictional.

REVIEW it by Carol Naylor.

Publisher: Bernard Jan  ISBN: 978-953-7077-08-02 ebook: 978-953-59581-0-9

carrie at Amazon UK

This trye story has got to be one of the saddest books I have ever read!
I cried almost all the way through it.
It's very well written, almost like poetry, almost every sentence is so descriptive and compared to something else of beauty.
I did struggle through my tears and almost gave up at the hardest part as there were so many similarities to my own experience.
If you're prepared for this heart-rending story I think you'll enjoy it.

Christian Sia at Readers' Favorite

A World Without Color: A True Story of the Last Three Days with My Cat by Bernard Jan is a quick read, a novel that is emotionally rich and told in the second person, like when you write a letter to someone, addressing them directly. It is an intimate story that explores the last days of the narrator with his beloved companion, Marcel the cat. In this novel, the author presents Marcel as ill and not in the best of moods and, in streams of consciousness, moves on to share powerful memories from trying to communicate his compassion and pain to Marcel, to the promise that they will meet again one day.

It is a wonderful story for fans of animals, especially cat lovers. Reading about the desolation and the loneliness of the narrator, the reader understands the place that Marcel occupied in his life as a companion. It is told in an endearing voice, which places the cat on the same level as the human being because it has become a great part of the life of the narrator. The story is filled with strong imagery. A World Without Color: A True Story of the Last Three Days with My Cat is a compelling story that demonstrates how a pet can make such a difference in someone’s life. It is a story that explores themes of loss and grief and that celebrates a connection with a cat, a connection that brought meaning to the life of the narrator. It will bring tears in your eyes. Written in language that is beautiful and capturing emotions that are raw, Bernard Jan’s novel invites the reader to look at pets from a completely different perspective.

Damien Black at Goodreads

A World Without Color: A True Story Of the Last Three Days With My Cat 
My friend Jennifer and her sister both lost their pets this past year, I felt their loss, and I wonder if I owned a pet would I feel the sorrow the pain that comes with having a pet. Admittedly Bernard Jan's book wouldn't be something I would pick up and read, but reading this book rewarded me with an increase in compassion, 2017 was a year of outside forces being so damn negative. Reading this book, I got a glimpse of something I never had with a pet. Bernard Jan's writing flows that you don't have force yourself to read someone's most inner feelings. His book shines a light on my humanity, and I question my dependency on eating meat. How do we face the certain death of a loved one? Bernard does it with emotion and honesty and most importantly with originality. 
Thank You, Bernard!

Dario at Amazon UK

I bought this book at launch but kept off it, because I knew it would have been an emotional rollercoaster. Bernard Jan does a marvellous job of making this story personal - not just for him, since this is indeed a true account of the end of a love story - but for ourselves, the readers, which will have to feel what he feels with a strength that's sometimes overpowering.

I won't go into the details of the story - unfortunately, it has a sad ending, albeit every good thing must come to an end - but the book is a testament about the undying love that conquers death itself. The writing is beautiful and direct, and clicks immediately.

Story and feelings aside, I love how the author touched on topics such as animal abuse, veganism, and so many others that should really be more prominent in our life, but that alas, are relegated to the random thought every now and then (unless you follow that lifestyle, which honestly, you should). His insight on the topic was always on point and never derailed form the focus of the story: crafting a testament for the love that we can share with all living beings, if we only manage to see for what they are, our brothers and sisters.

Yeah, I cried. But don't tell anyone. Buy this book, and cry in private yourself.

Dianne at Tome Tender

A World Without Color

A True Story Of the Last Three Days With My Cat

by Bernard Jan

If you have ever owned and faced the death of a pet, lived through the agony of knowing that “it is time, “or, if you have a heart, live and breathe, grab some tissues, just in case. Bernard Jan has taken a piece of his own heart and soul and put down in words, his feelings, his thoughts, and the utter devastation of the raw loss of his beloved pet. 

Saying good-bye and “putting down” a pet who is suffering is one of the greatest nightmares a person can face. Is it really time? What if….what if…what if…???? After the “deed” is done, the guilt is overwhelming, the grief is like acid and the empty hole in one’s heart is horrendous. 
Bernard Jan’s A WORLD WITHOUT COLOR: A TRUE STORY OF THE LAST THREE DAYS WITH MY CAT is the true story of the last painful days of his cat and friend, Marcelle’s life. Mr. Jan finished his story with two endings, one the truth, one, ‘what if’ in the imaginings of anyone who would do anything to undo the loss they face.

Short, powerful, honest and heart-wrenching, Bernard Jan has only written what most of us cannot express, the pain of the loss of a pet. That pain is real and it can crush the soul. Beautifully written, in just a few words, Bernard Jan has given voice to everyone who has experienced his same loss.
 

Didi Oviatt at Goodreads

I'm more of a dog person than a cat person, but I do love all animals nonetheless. This book is out of my usual read, but it rang very resonating and I've had my eye on this author. After seeing that it was a gold metal finalist in it's category in the Readers Favorite international book awards, I couldn't pass it up. It's been downloaded on my kindle for quite some time now, and last night I was finally able to pick it up. I read it all in one sitting, I cried and cried.

Bernard spent 15 years loving this animal, so it's no wonder that the last three days of the pets life was such an emotional time. What I love most about this book is the writing. It's beautifully poetic, and every sentence just reads so smooth and impactful. I've lost a few pets, but none with such a long lifespan. This poor kitty was in rough shape, and the last three days of it's life was spent being cared for through the pains of everything that age can and did present. I would have liked a little more reflection on memories of it's best years. I've never read a memoir quite like this one, and I highly recommend it for anyone who is currently or recently experiencing loosing a loved pet. Greif is a tough thing to endure, so to find a book to relate to could most certainly help.

What done it for me, as I said before, is the writing in general. Bernard has quite the talent. His way with words is authentic and absolutely inspiring. 4 stars for me.

Dr JEC Bennekers at Amazon

Just finished 'A World without color', which at times made me wish I hadn't read it. I was crying with every page of it. Such a moving story and it really pulled on my heartstrings. Absolutely loved the way you described the agony of losing a loved one. It really was painful to follow the process with the author. It is however something each and everyone of us goes through at some stage in our life, whether it's a family member or another family member like your pet. Great work.

Elaine Emmerick at Amazon

This is a true story about a cat named Marcel and his last three days of life with his owner. It's a story of unconditional love and healing. It's filled with raw emotion and his everlasting love for Marcel.

Losing a pet is a very difficult thing to experience - they are not just pets - they are family and you mourn their loss. The tender loving care Bernard gave to Marcel throughout his life and at the end touched my heart.

Bernard's vivid description of events and saying "goodbye" to his beloved Marcel is overwhelming. The connection he has with Marcel will stay with me for some time. This book is a mission of love and how to live without Marcel - but yet - Marcel's spirit is with Bernard.

Elyse at Goodreads

A special thanks to Mischenko and Starjustin. After reading both their deeply moving reviews- I wanted to purchase this book for our younger daughter who has two cats. 

Paul and I have put two cats down ourselves over the past 40 years. The pain - sadness - and grief lingered for a long time. 

In this short story we are witness to a beautiful love story between a cat and his owner and the family they are a part of. 
Gut wrenching loss when death comes. 

Rest In Peace Marcel .... 
Always - always - sorry for the loss of our pets. 
So sorry for the several friends on this site who've who have 'recently' lost their beloved cat or dog. My thoughts are with you. 

FNM at NZFNMBLOG

Thank you to the author for providing me with a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

Now this is a book I had no expectations going into, what had initially interested me in the memoir, was finding out how the author was able to share the highly intimate journey of a family pet passing away into a story.

What I found immediately was the raw emotion that the author is feeling is perfectly described on the page, they hold nothing back as they describe not only the situation, but the importance of Marcel to them. You really do feel as if your right alongside them as they go through their final three days.

Now this is probably not a novel to start reading if you are already feeling a tad down that down, when reading it’s so hard no not get caught up in emotion and at times it did feel quite a struggle to get through, not due to bad writing or anything like that but because it puts into sharp focus whats important and that you should really be hugging your pets right now!

At the same time it probably would provide some comfort to those that may of experienced a loss like this, their is a definite feeling that your not alone, as well as perhaps sharing some of your grief. The author does make the story deeply personal and perhaps just that little bit too emotional if anything. However it is a beautiful touching read.

Rating: 4/5

Would I read again: No

Would I Recommend: Yes

Would I read another book from this author: Yes

Gabriel Constans at Gabriel Constans

An experience we all have in common, told with clarity, insight, and an over-flowing heart. Grief touches us all, whether it is for a human or other living creature. In A World Without Color, Mr. Jan tells the story of the days and moments leading up to, and immediately after, his beloved cat, Marcel, dies. 

As someone who has worked with hospice, in hospital, health care centers, and survivor’s of loss and trauma, for close to 40 years, I must say that this is one of the most honest, compassionate, and understanding description of what grief can feel like that I have ever read – and I’ve read a lot of books about grief, loss, death and bereavement.

Here is a line from this very well written true story, which takes place in Zagreb. “I absorb into my memory your big, yellow-green and tired eyes, knowing that a little longer, a little longer, and their flame will disappear.”

Anyone who has lost someone (animal friend, or human) will understand the sensations, emotions and thoughts that are shared by Bernard Jan about his dread of Marcel dying; his reactions when Marcel dies; and his reactions afterwards. There is not an ounce of fluff (other than Marcel’s fur) or hyperbole in A World Without Color. It is as raw and as real as one can get.

Also published on Amazon.

Gabriel Sean at Amazon UK

Bernard expresses his pain for his cat who is diseased and dying. The family try to prolong the life of Marcel, a close friend and Bernard's best friend. Bernard dedicates a book to Marcel's memory, so moved is he by his cats passing.
The author explores his feelings of grief in detail using subtle nuances, graphic descriptions of his cat's passing on and a great array and richness of words. We can sympathise with Bernard's pain, as many pet lovers would recognise their own feelings of grief written into the words of A World Without Cover.
Bernard's sensitivity, emotional depth and vivid descriptions of nature is absorbing and fascinating.

George Billions at Amazon

This isn’t a long book, but I had to read it a little piece at a time. It’s really heartbreaking stuff. If you’ve ever loved and lost a pet, you’ll know exactly where Jan is coming from, and he articulates it perfectly. Oh, the feels! All of them! One of the things that got me was how he kicks himself for tiny, seemingly inconsequential pleasures denied while there was still time. He didn’t go pick some immature grass for his feline friend to chew on, and can’t get over the fact that he didn’t. Yeah. Years later, I still know that feeling. I’m sorry, George LaForge.

I’m thinking about it now and I can’t even write any more. This is a very difficult but beautiful book.

Gisela Hausmann at Amazon

Jan Bernard's book "A World Without Color: A True Story Of the Last Three Days With My Cat" is not for everyone, but pet owners as well as people who have experienced tremendous loss, like somebody dying of cancer will probably love his words. 

At the end of his book, Bernard writes, "Writing this book was a question of survival, it was not an option or a choice. This story is personal and very important to me, so thank you for reading it" which is probably exactly how named groups of people feel about their losses; in a way Bernard encourages them to do as he did - put their thoughts down on paper, celebrate past days and learn to cope with the inevitable. 

Bernard's story of Marcel's (his cat's) last days is beautiful and sad. He celebrates every tiny glimmer of hope, "... You wanted to boast to Saša that you were doing better and let him know how much his visits mean to you and how much you appreciate what he does for you..."; alas, to no avail. 

Buried in this book are two important thoughts:
(p.10) "... the bookkeeping service where I worked for three years before I turned that page in life and became fully active in the animal protection and rights association..."
Living with Marcel made the author realize what he really wanted to do and he went after it. It's a more humble expression of the concept "Follow your Dreams" which is uttered daily in the United States, yet so few do. 

(p.14) "... humans have a choice: the choice between good and evil, compassion and cruelty, empathy and ignoring, and we do not use it. We do not use common sense because our stomach blinds our mind and everything flows through it. At least most of us..."

And, the final question, "... If you, my star, die out, I don’t know what will happen to this constellation called your family..."
Having been there, having to put down my first cat Dixie, I know how it feels but eventually I learned that Bernard is wrong in thinking "... Adopting someone after you, after all we’ve been through together, seems like a betrayal..." and adopted first Artemis and then Yin-Yang as a playmate for Artemis. All three, the late Dixie, as well as now Artemis and Yin-Yang are part of my family. 

The author writes he is a poet too. Well, I believe it, his book is poetic and beautiful.
Highly recommended to cat lovers and people who have experienced tremendous loss. I am both. 
5 stars,
Gisela Hausmann, author & blogger

Hackie at Amazon

Powerful story that will make you cry. I could have done without the pro vegan message. a must read for pet owners everywhere.

Haley Belinda at Goodreads

Very moving and emotional story, in fact, I shed a tear.

Anyone who has a pet for a long time will relate to this book. The show of compassion and love is adorable as the Author grieves his loss.

Haley Jenkins at Selcouth Station

"You curl up in your new hideout, and the soft light of April afternoon washes your worn-out body. You are aware of my closeness. you confirm hat with a gentle sigh while my palm tenderly slide down your fur. You still like my touch, although pain is what you mostly feel"

From 'A World Without Colour'

By Bernard Jan

Self-published, 2017.


I had a unique experience with this book. When I bought it, my beloved 14-year-old cat Frodo was alive. When I finished it, his ashes were sitting next to his brother’s on our family china cabinet. Since I was twelve years old, cats have been a giant part of my life. We adopted two rescued kittens and despite losing our sofa, skin and a decent sleep to their furry temperaments, we loved them unreservedly. 

I grew up in a very small family, which has whittled down even more over the last five years, and I always had trouble making friends, so I grew to rely a lot on Frodo and Sherman. Their constant companionship meant I was never alone, even in the worst of times. One stroke, one lick, one purr, all these small natural acts of a cat meant more to me than so many compliments or reassuring smiles. Even if a purr meant “Yes human, you are my heater and I WILL sit on your lap as you panic about your dissertation” or “I WILL sit the crook of your arm every night and badger you endlessly until you pull back the duvet so I can snuggle down”, it was a semi-silent understanding of accepting and listening. I accept you, you accept me, I will listen to you and you will...sometimes...listen to me. When we lost Frodo in October, I grieved for him more than any grandparent I’ve lost, which sounds terrible I know. With each grandparent, we knew that death was coming for them. With both our cats, it was sudden and they were gone without twenty-four hours. Sherman we lost to a tumour, Frodo we lost to cat aids or cancer (it wasn’t determined which, his blood suggested one or the other). 
            One memory that will always stick with me about losing Frodo – and by extension Sherman as when we lost him we still had Frodo to comfort us – was a drive home I made two days after his death. It was a terrible day, filled with anxiety and disappointments. I realized half way back that there would be no cat to comfort, accept and calm me when I got home. 
             I screamed.     
I screamed and punched the steering wheel, tears pouring down my face so I could barely see. I was near home, so I didn’t pull over. I felt if I pulled over I wouldn’t be able to drive again. I just kept screaming. 
So, as you can imagine, it took me a while to find the strength to read A World Without Colour by Bernard Jan. His novella focuses on the last three days he spent with his beloved and fading cat Marcel.  I say ‘novella’ as there are fictional elements, but Jan doesn’t deny that the bones of his story are based on truth, labelling it a ‘true story’ in his opening pages. He is one of the many to have lost a loved furry friend, a member of the family, a part of himself. 

The novella is told in first-person present tense by the narrator, whom we can presume is the writer in this instance. The language is raw and beautifully honest, it explores in detail the turmoil felt by a person when they know the horrific inevitable is going to happen. I found it a little ‘flowery’ at times for my personal taste, but this did not affect my reading of the story. A believer and campaigner in animal rights, the narrator struggles to stop fighting. He will not give up on Marcel, he denies sleep and rest so that he can attend to Marcel’s bathroom needs, as the poor cat can no longer empty his bladder on his own. He questions himself, notes his own addiction to Marcel, but refuses to back away and let death take his friend. Even after Marcel’s death, the narrator carries around the needles that ended Marcel’s life, which I found a beautiful and moving demonstration of love. 

The characters are complex and realistic in their actions, from the narrator’s parents to the vet Saša, who despite his profession has become a family friend and part of Marcel’s life, and inevitably his death. Each character reacts to death differently. Mom, who has already lost two cats in her life, quickly begins removing signs of Marcel and focuses on what the next step is. Dad gets drunk and stumbles into bed, sobbing in privacy as he cannot share his pain with others. The narrator himself has two endings, one genuine and one fictional. In the genuine ending, the narrator finds peace and opens up to his friends, keeping his vow to Marcel that he will honour his cat’s memory. In the fictional ending, the narrator jumps off his balcony, refusing to allow himself an end like Marcel, where he is put down by others when he is no longer able to fight. He makes his own choice. He joins Marcel in an afterlife setting, together again with his soulmate. 

It was not only the characters but the environment that made this book very real. The locations are primarily the narrator’s home and his workplace, which adds a sense of claustrophobia and entrapment to the work. These places of comfort are being disturbed by the presence of death and the narrator cannot escape either one of them. We see how death changes the everyday environment, which I found extremely engaging and a skilful act on the writer’s part. It is only in the last handful of pages that we are introduced to a new environment: the street. The narrator watches Saša walk down the street, carrying Marcel’s body in a bag. The street repeats in the narrator’s mind, acting as a symbol of loss but also progression: the street leads on, it continues, there is a future beyond the street. In the genuine ending, the narrator walks down the newly-washed street and begins his new life. In the fictional one, the narrator jumps out and onto the street, using it as his grave. These contrasting uses of environment were simple yet powerful, I applaud the writer for his ability to weave grand themes – such as death – into his use of landscapes. 

This short powerful novella is a must read. It gave me permission to stop grieving in many ways, because Bernard Jan told me it was okay to feel like I did and it was okay to move on, despite suffering an emptiness that will never be filled. I would give this book to anyone who has pets, because it will give you an insight into what will happen one day. We’re telling you it is okay and that you aren’t alone.

In Memory 

Frodo 

12/08/2014 - 04/10/2017

Shearman Tank Jenkins

12/08/2014 - 4/6/2016

Ingmar Albizu at ingmaralbizu.com

I would like to recommend this novela with two different endings. (...) This book is highly recommended if you are a pet owner and even if you aren’t.

​Full of emotion and grief, it chronicles the author’s final days with his cat Marcel. I could have done without the overtly pro-vegan message (which took me off the story been told a few times). Hard to believe the author is Croatian and English is not his first language. As a matter of fact, he proves love is universal as well as feelings towards our pets.

​I rated it an 8/10. Bring a handkerchief when you read it.

James J. Cudney at This Is My Truth Now

When you lose a cherished pet, sometimes the loss is so inexplicable, all you can do is cry. When I had to let go of my ten-year-old shiba inu just about a year ago, it was a painful 2-week process. It is nearly impossible to put into words for most people how you go about making the decision to end an animal’s pain, begin your own, and suffer the consequences. Not impossible tho, as proven by Bernard Jan in the second book of his I’ve read this year. Jan lost his beloved cat, Marcel, and shares the emotional turmoil he encountered throughout the process.

This book is ~100 pages covering the three days when Jan and his family know they have to say goodbye. His words and imagery are stellar… honestly… he captures all those emotions pet-parents go through trying to rationalize our decisions, understand the whys, convince ourselves we will be okay, and determine how or if we can lean on anyone around us. By showcasing Marcel’s movements and struggles, we see the pain Jan’s family has gone through. It is visceral and constant. It is harsh and definitive. It is widespread and menacing.

I had to put the book down several times as it brought me to tears thinking of my own pet loss this year. Jan is brave. He shares everything from the moment he adopted the cat to the treasures of their ~15 year life together. As a younger guy suffering through this, he’s developing all his emotions and reactions to something he’s truly not ready to handle. I say this not because Jan’s not strong enough (he is), but because this is one of his earliest life experiences dealing with death. It is never easy. But to write about it and share those feelings, notions, worries, and sighs of relief when it’s all over (even tho it really isn’t) is remarkable.

Translated into English, the creators of this version are masterful in their descriptions. The comparisons… similes… references… moments… all bring readers to experience as closely as possible what the author experienced. If you’ve never gone thru it, it’s probably not fully apparent. Human loss is different… agreeably more harsh in most circumstances, but when your pet cannot talk to tell you what kind of pain they have, you are the sole person responsible for deciding how to help them.

I felt the intensity from Jan’s writing, and I recommend this for anyone who has a pet and/or is coping with [or the potential] loss. It might not be a good idea to read it as you’re going thru it depending on what kind of person you are and how you handle grief, but it’s something you should read when you are starting to recover. Thank you for sharing this truly humbling work, Bernard Jan.

JAnn Bowers of Echoic Entertainment Magazine at Amazon

This was a story book all to itself, heart-breaking, sadness and a display of true love. I found Bernhard’s words to be very poetic through his love for his cat, with each passing word I felt as if I was right there shedding a tear with Bernard as he spoke those final words. This was such a powerful and moving story, one that I will definitely be reading it again.

Jasna at Goodreads

“My love, if you go away in a few days, the world will lose its colors and darken like the land of Mordor. If you go away and leave me to wander aimlessly, alone in this sea become wild, like a ship with a broken rudder and drowned sailors, and if I don’t find comfort in the warmth of your body, clutched in my embrace at the end of the day, I’m afraid I won’t survive.”

My home is empty without her. My life is empty without her. My world is empty without her.

A World Without Color -- such a proper, yet painfully accurate title. So graceful and truthful, hauntingly beautiful. It implies loss, grief, the lack of; yet, it is soft, gently bringing in you into its meaning -- a miserable existence, which remains assigned to this here realm of the living.

I won’t go into details about all the health problems my lovely has been experiencing in the last two and a half years. I will only proclaim she was a warrior of life, of cuddles, simply loving to love. We have lost her four times already, with each new scare; fourth being her final departure from which she will not recover, or return. And she had endured it like a true, wise Zen Master, with calmness of a stoic:

“You represent what is worthy and should be fought for: you are the symbol of incorruptibility, benevolence, innocence, purity, kindness, sincerity, selflessness, goodness, friendship, and love, qualities that should inhabit every corner of this planet. If we were all like you, we wouldn’t need redemption. Nor would we need to sacrifice and kill others for our sins. The world would be the way it was supposed to be, and not this muddy, dirty and bloody quagmire wrapped in a false cellophane, in which we wallow day after day. Full of illusions and running away from the truth!”

I started reading this book immediately after finding out that she might not last longer than a month or two, end of December last year. I needed some comfort, some fellow human (other than myself and my significant other), who had dealt with it by creating art. After several pages I gave up. It was too much to bear, too close to home, mirror image almost; although at that point, my cat was not as severely hurting as the author’s. She was not in pain, she was still playful, she still greeted us at the entrance, excited we were home. We dedicated every second of our spare time to cuddling with her, loving her. She knew she was feeling better from all the medicine I was giving her, and she never held a grudge regarding my forceful ways. She was, and until last minute remained, very proper, very cutie. So we cuddled. We cuddled hard. We always cuddled hard. We were going to take advantage of the time we had left.

She lasted six month, to the amazement of the veterinarians who cared for her. It is small comfort to hear them tell us that we are doing an amazing job with her, that we kept her alive, in relative comfort, longer than they’ve ever could have imagined, or have witnessed. The last week of June she finally stopped eating, as her kidneys were no longer processing protein. She slowly stopped drinking water. And two days before her final hour, I went back to reading this book, while petting her, crying over her (trying to contain myself, not wanting her to see me like that, fairly unsuccessfully), already missing her, as I knew the end is very near. I read up to a point of the author says goodbye to his darling Marcel. I couldn't go on. The aftermath was awaiting me, and I simply couldn't follow beyond that point.

Why did I put myself through something that intense, during already difficult circumstances? I’m not sure. My subconsciousness needed it I suppose, as a buffer -- it was possibly a way to give me strength to make the decision that was inevitable without making her suffer longer than necessary, while at the same time needing to make sure she will not get better, like she has so many times before. Only two days later, as it became obvious she was now in pain, her eyes and meows asking for relief (our lovely was always a great, master communicator -- her eyes were telling and serious, her purring weakened in power, but never in spirit), we had to make the same decision. We proudly cuddle until last minute. We cuddle hard, we always have.

We said goodbye as we sang her cuddle song to her. We watched as her beautiful green eyes had turned to haze, to grey, to black; I held her in my arms on the way home, one last time. I gave her the rites of Orthodox Christians -- although I am not religious and have my own sense of spirituality that can best be described as “eclectic”, for the first time it made sense to hold a twenty-four hour vigil, it was clear why to light candles, kiss her lifeless body over and over, and feel her sweet smelling fur through my fingers. The rites were modified slightly to our life with her, which I feel made them even more meaningful. Rituals and rites are process methods.

Three days later, I finally finished the book. I was ready to sob and grieve with the author. To reject life, and color.

“But I see emptiness where it should be you. Endless emptiness.”

JD Couch at Amazon

I loved this story my cat died, four years ago today and he died in my arms his name was EJ he was a part of my family, just like anyone else.

Joni Martins at Goodreads

Book Title: A World Without Color: A True Story Of the Last Three Days With My Cat
Subtitle: 
Author: Bernard Jan
Genre: Young Adult/Contemporary
Part of a series? No
Order in series: N/A
Best read after earlier books in series? Yes/No N/A
Available: 

Overall score:

I scored this book 5/5

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

Short Summary of the book:

This book tells the story of the emotional journey of the author during the last days in the life of his much-beloved cat Marcel. There are two endings to the book and you can choose which ending you prefer. One is sad, the other is darker. It follows the heartache, pain and care of his cat, while he still needs to perform at his job as well. The entire family is involved in the care for this treasured pet.

There was hardly a page within this book where my hanky was not required. He describes his heartache in such magnificent detail you nearly feel like you live it with him.

What I liked about the book:

I particularly liked the way the author described his cat, remembers his fond memories shared with Marcel and the heart-wrenching decisions he needs to make.


What I didn’t like about the book:

The only thing I did not like about the book was the fact that tears were inevitable. But that is also exactly the strength of this book.


My favourite bits in the book:

I loved where the cat and the author seemed to be so in tune that he knew what Marcel needed before he even asked. The trust from the animal in his owner was also endearing.


My least favourite bits in the book:

I didn’t like it when the inevitable happened. It was described very well, but wouldn’t we all have loved if the author was spared this heartache?

Any further books in the series? Any more planned by this author?

This book is not part of a series, but the author has also released another book which shows his love for animals, entitled ‘Look for me Under the Rainbow’. 


What books could this be compared to and why?

I have not come across any books similar to this one yet, although I’m sure there must be some around. 


Recommendation:

In summary, I would recommend this book for the following readers:

Children Perhaps with guidance
Young Adult Yes
Adult Yes

This book has the potential to be very supportive to people who have to go through loss and grief. It does not matter whether the one they lose is animal or human, the loss is the same. I would certainly recommend you read this book. Make sure to keep your hanky ready, though.

I look forward to reading more books by this author.

Book Description by the Author:

One story. Two endings. Genuine and fictional. Which ending is yours?
What do you say to someone who is dying? And what do you say when that someone can't understand a word you are saying? How do you comfort each other throughout... and beyond?
My love, if you go away in a few days, the world will lose its colors and darken like the land of Mordor. If you go away and leave me to wander aimlessly, alone in this sea become wild, like a ship with a broken rudder and drowned sailors, and if I don't find comfort in the warmth of your body, clutched in my embrace at the end of the day, I'm afraid I won't survive.
"I don't regret anything. Marcel was not only my cat, he was my everything. My brother, my friend, my world shrank in a soft gray-striped furry ball."—Bernard Jan
Powerful. Emotional. Honest.
Buy this heartfelt and moving novella.

Translated into English by Bernard Jan
Editing and proofreading by Philip Newey, Thomas Carley Jr. and Kath Middleton
Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
Cover photo by Zach Singh

About the Author:

Born
in Zagreb, Croatia 

Website
https://www.bernardjan.com/ 


Twitter
BernardJanWorld 


Genre
Mystery, Young Adult, Contemporary

"There is no greater joy than to share what you love with those who appreciate it." - Bernard Jan

Bernard Jan is an author – a novelist and a poet – from Croatia, seeking representation of a literary agent for his work translated into English.

His first books have been written at the beginning of war in Croatia in 1991, amidst the air alerts and illusory attempts when he wanted to believe and think that life is normal, that everything is alright with the world.

In his lifespan he has written and published five novels, two novellas, one book of poems and an essay in Croatian. Four of his manuscripts, together with his book of poems, are translated into English and are available for representation and publication.

Bernard Jan has been a member of the Croatian Writers' Association since December 30, 2003.

His passion for entertainment resulted in his becoming a partner of Tom's Music Place, which was established in 2009 by his friend Thomas Carley Jr. with the goal to respect the music.

Jan's need to help others came to the fore during his volunteering years: first in advocating for environmental protection, and then his volunteering, activism, work and advocacy for animal rights to the present day. He did some volunteering for the refugees, too, because suffering does not know about the borders and when it comes within your reach, in your yard, you simply have to do something.

As part of his animal advocacy activities, Bernard Jan has translated "Eternal Treblinka: Our Treatment of Animals and the Holocaust" by Charles Patterson into Croatian language. 

Connect with Bernard Jan on LinkedIn. 

Connect with Bernard Jan on YouTube. 

Follow Bernard Jan on Steemit.

Follow Bernard Jan on Amazon.
 

Joy M. Lilley at Goodreads

Such a wonderful read for me as I experience d the same trauma myself not long ago.Bernard captured all the emotions I too felt.Beautiful writing and heartfelt.We never forget the animals we care for and know losing them is the price we pay for loving them.

Julia Walker at juliapicks1

This is a short book about grief.  It is beautifully written and details in depth the struggle of letting go of a loved one.  The book covers the last three days that the author spent with his pet cat Marcel. During this time period Jan has to come to terms not only with the fact that his beloved cat is dying but that in order to be kind he must help the process. The inner struggle is real and heart felt. The writing is eloquent and worthy of the deepest relationship. This would be a good read for someone struggling with grief who needs to have that grief validated.

Julie S. Porter at Amazon

I come from a family of animal lovers and any time a pet dies, it is a cause for deep mourning.
Bernard Jan's book A World Without Color" captures the departure of a beloved animal with the right level of sadness and comfort.

This book is part-extended poem and part-meditative essay as Jan discusses the illness and death of his cat, Marcel.
There are moments that describe the bond between human and owner most effectively. There are plenty of passages where Jan is stroking Marcel on the head and remembers when the cat was a feisty mischievous troublemaker.

Jan describes the grieving process in a way that does not hit the reader over the head, but shows the stages in actions. At first Jan doesn't want to believe that Marcel is ill, but then he does everything that he can to keep his cat alive and cared for even to the end. The last moments are unforgettable as Jan sits with Marcel accepting the impending loss and behaves as he has always done: a loving best friend to his pet.

A World Without Color will move anyone who had and lost a pet. It proves that pets are not " just animals." They are integral members of the family and sometimes their deaths can be as deeply felt as that of the humans around them.

Justin at Goodreads

This book is incredibly well written the only reason i gave it 4 stars instead of 5 is purely down to how hard and upsetting it was to read which is just a credit to how well it was written. Unfortunately it was that upsetting to read i nearly struggled to sit and carry on which is why i had to knock it down a star. Well worth a read if you feel as though you are up to it.

Kameron Brook at Kam's Place

If you’ve ever loved and lost a pet then A World Without Color: A True Story Of the Last Three Days With My Cat by Bernard Jan will make you cry.

A couple years ago, I lost my best friend. He brought me so much joy and watching his body deteriorate broke me. I watched him slowing stop eating and drinking. I witnessed his hind legs give out. There were so many doctor appointments, so many meds, all to prolong his life.

Pets become a part of our day. They listen while we talk. We might pet them for comfort. They are our constant when everything else seems out of control. When they die, life seems to stop. We mourn them like we would a human. We miss their face, the sound of their voice, moments we could’ve had together if we weren’t so busy, and moments we’ll never have since they are gone.

Like Bernard, I never thought I’d ever get another cat. I too felt like I would be betraying my buddy. It took a while but my children convinced me to get another one. We eventually adopted two rescue cats.

I know one day I will have to make the decision to prolong life or put them down. There’s no reason to let a loved one suffer because we can’t or don’t want to let them go. Don’t let them live in agony.

There are some days I still swear I hear my buddy, see him out of the corner of my eye. I don’t get too sad anymore because I think he would be happy I have learned to love again.

Bernard, your words brought me many tears. The photo of Marcel made me cry even harder. Despite all these tears shed I must say thank you because it warmed my heart to see the love another person had for his own furbaby.

Kath Middleton at bernardjan.com

This short book is the deeply-felt and well-written account of the love and interdependence between a man and his companion animal. All those who have had a pet, and there are many of us, know that the time comes when the last kindness we can give them is to ease their journey out of the world. Here, we see the heart-breaking decision and the lonely aftermath sensitively portrayed. Many will recognise these feelings.

​By Kath Middleton, author and e-book reviewer, www.kathmiddletonbooks.com, March 19, 2017

Kathy Harrison at Amazon

This author really stripped himself down to give the readers a raw and emotional look at what it is truly like to lose a pet. Highly recommend this book!

Kimmy Schemy at The Aspiring Wordsmith

A World Without Color is a touching novella written by Bernard Jan.

The book chronicles the last three difficult, sad, but love-filled days the author shared with his beloved cat of fourteen years and nine months. How he kept his vigil over someone he loved the most as he watched him go gradually, painfully but bravely.

More than the cat or the pet, this book is ultimately about love in its unconditional form. It depicts the extent of a person’s attachment and affection to a non-human and the love that transcends the boundaries of the species. Moreover, it describes the beauty of unreciprocated action in the name of duty and obligation as a manifestation of love. Finally, it presents the ultimate choice someone has to make: either to carry the burden of being the angel of death to the one he loves the most for the rest of his life by putting an end to the agony and suffering of his beloved or to wait for the end to come on its own as he watch the love of his life expire swiftly and painfully.  

However, this novella may be understood and totally appreciated only by readers who have the rare opportunity of experiencing that same kind of love the author felt for his cat. Regrettably, not all people, pet-owners included, have that same intimate and passionate relationship with their pets.

Congratulations to Bernard Jan (@BernardJanWorld) on such a touching novella.

Published also on Amazon: http://amzn.to/2AMscBa.

Klara Busic at Goodreads

hat to do when a beloved member of the family passes away and this member is one's beloved cat or in my case dog? You go out to numb the pain and get some kind of catharsis. Bernard Jan's book "A World Without Color: A True Story of the Last Three Days with my Cat" gives you just that opportunity. Read it, cry it out and ask yourself if it was the right decision to take one's life away? It's an ethical question and should be asked. Who gives me the right to decide when it's time for the dog or cat or any other beloved pet to go its way? We give ourselves that right and I think this book tries to give us an explanation. Then it is up to everyone to answer this very difficult question. Thank you Bernard Jan for this question and thank you for catharsis.

Koen Van den Eeckhout at Goodreats

Although difficult to relate, as I have never experienced such a deep and pure relationship with a pet, I was touched by these beautiful words and poetic sentences - filled with pain, sadness, but above all love. Looking forward to reading more work by this author!

Kristina Gallo at Goodreads

First thing I felt when I read this book was admiration. As cat's fan, I can understand endless love toward this noble animals, but especially when they are your pets. This story is going through many details about life in common with a pet, so precisely that I can see the clear image of love. Here are three levels : anger because of death, acceptance and memories. This story is more sensitive and sophisticated than some romantic novels, but yet it did not cross the limit of exaggerating. Thanks for the wonderful story.

Lalo at Amazon

To any animal lover who has ever lost a pet. This is a great description. Highly recommend. Be prepared to cry.

Leigh Holland at Amazon

A World Without Color A True Story by Bernard Jan, 68 pages, July 1st 2017, Genre: Short Reads/Cats. Warning: May Contain Spoilers.
 
Review by Leigh Holland.
 
    As a cat lover, I had to check out this short read. This is a love story. It’s not a romance. Nevertheless, it’s a story about a powerful, moving, enduring love. It’s all the more meaningful as it is a true story. Cat lovers will see their own experiences and feelings mirrored here. This story is an intense testament to the bond humans feel with our pets.
    Bernard Jan describes the life of his beloved cat with such poignancy. His writing style is straightforward and emotionally moving. Happier times with Marcel brought a smile to my lips, while his deteriorating decline brought tears to my eyes. Most moving of all was the author’s profound love, devotion, and grief for his cat. Our pets live, love, and pass on, but they live forever in our hearts.
    My only complaint is that the author provided two alternate endings, leaving the reader to choose how the reader prefers the tale to end. I have never liked this sort of ending. Since this is a true story, I would have preferred the author stick with the true ending. For this reader, that would have made the book even more meaningful.
    I’d recommend this short read to those who enjoy tales of love, loss, and the wonder that pets can bring into our lives, though they are with us but a comparatively short time.

Leonard Tillerman at leonardtillerman.com

Have you ever loved someone so much that you could not envision your life without them?  A love so powerful that it continuously permeated your thoughts and intensified your happiness and contentment?  Have you ever felt that way about someone?  What if that someone was a cat?  Have you changed your mind?  If not, then I am guessing you are a true animal lover, similar to Bernard Jan who has penned this gripping and emotional novella.

A World Without Color is about a cat named Marcel and his owner, Bernard Jan, who is the author of the work.  Essentially, the book follows the author’s personal journey with grief as he shares the last three days of Marcel’s life.  Marcel had been sick for a while and it had reached a point where the illness and pain could no longer be tolerated.  The peace and tranquility offered by death was simply too strong an opportunity to ignore.

However, it is not simply a tale which chronicles the last three days of Marcel’s life.  Indeed, it is about the raw flood of emotions which Bernard feels as he helps Marcel along this journey to death.  The unconditional love which he has for Marcel is not only shown in his sorrowful grief and guilt as he helps Marcel find peace and release, but also in the joyful memories and flashbacks of their past time together.  The love and importance of Marcel is also revealed in the relationship Bernard’s parents have with him.  They too are grieving the loss of a family member in their own way.  The saying, “everyone grieves differently” comes to mind.

Bernard Jan’s novella is guaranteed to evoke powerful emotions in the reader.  More than once I was reading the words through the fog of my own tears.  This is not only due to the compelling theme of unconditional love, but can also be attributed to the author’s poetic use of language which help to garner these feelings.  His descriptions and thoughts are beautiful and moving.  From the joyful flashbacks to the inevitable death of Marcel, the scenes are completely enchanting.

When I first began reading this novella I believed it would really only resonate with animal lovers.  Indeed, true animal lovers understand that our animals are family members and we love them as much as any human.  Those who have not experienced such relationships could not possibly relate to this book… right?  Wrong!  The theme of unconditional love for another being is captivating and all encompassing.  It will click an emotional nerve in anyone who has the good fortune to read it.

When I write reviews, I am very careful to never provide spoilers.  That being said, the reader should be prepared for an unusual ending to the book which will require deep thought.  It will appeal to some and not to others.  Personally, it worked for me as I found it matched the turbulent and emotional nature of the story.  I was also able to personally relate to the unbearable depth and despair of grief.

5 teary stars for Bernard Jan’s powerful novella!

Lilly at Lilly's Book World

I received a review copy of this book and this is one truly emotional story! I must agree, the connection that forms between a pet and its master is formidable. In this book, we have an analysis of this bound, to its most sensitive aspects. So I can only appreciate what the author managed to express in this amount of pages.

The writing is very emotional and it depicts very well his emotions and conflict. Any pet owner will identify with his story and with all he has had to deal with. I used to be an owner as well, so I can relate to some of these states. As well, the connection he has with Marcel is presented in detail. Marcel is no longer a cat, but a piece of his heart, a life companion. All the events they had to go through together are heartwarming at least.

There comes a point in the book where I must admit I stopped enjoying it that much. While I understand that Marcel is important to our narrator and I can understand the attachment he has for him (due to the large amount of sentiments included in the story, I cannot address the cat as “it” as I feel I would offend the author’s intentions), I believe it is pushed to the extreme a little bit. I would address some of those lines to my boyfriend, or husband. I believe, as much as one would love his or her pet companion, addressing it with “my love” is a little too much.

“A World without Color” is a truly remarkable story, just not a story for me. While I enjoyed the writing and I appreciated the remarkable amount of emotions that this book offers, for me it was too much. Objectively, I would give all 5 stars for sure, but personally, I cannot give more than 3. So let’s maintain an average and go with 4 stars. Still, I would not recommend this book to readers dealing with depression, as it could amplify it.

Also published on Amazon, Goodreads and AUTHORSdb.

Linda Lpp at Goodreads

While currently dealing with critical illness in one of my cats, this book is a challenge to read. I'm going very, very slowly. Placing "our" situation in some sense of understanding. Many of Bernard's thoughts I also have pondered. Is comforting to learn of the conflicts you are experiencing have been felt by so many more pet owners. I know I will reach the point, of saying... its time. But am still holding on... and Butterfly seems to be too>

Linda Thompson, Host of TheAuthorsShow at Amazon

Reading a World Without Color brought back so many memories of my beloved Shadow, who was my companion and my love for nineteen wonderful years. Like the author, I was heartbroken when I had to let her go, but also, like Bernard and his family, it was the right thing to do. I shed a lot of tears as I was reading. This book is well written and spoken from the heart. You can feel Bernard’s pain with every word, feel the love he has for this cat who is so much more the just the family pet. The book cover needs no words, all the love and emotion are right there. The second ending was a bit of a surprise, but for some reason, it just worked. Personally, I preferred the reality of the first. Thank you, Bernard, for sharing your love for Marcel with the world. I will be recommending your book to all my fellow kitty lovers.

Llamedos at Amazon UK

An intensely emotional and moving book, extremely well written and powerful. The author articulated his emotions so well that it reduced me to tears as it brought back vivid memories of losing my own beloved pets as a child. A true wordsmith.

Lucas Carlson at Amazon

This book does a great job of putting you in the life of a boy at a pivotal time in his life.

Maks at Amazon

*Note I recieved a free copy of the book in exchange for a honest review
5 STARS!!!

"You curl up in your new hideout, and the soft light of April afternoon washes your worn-out body. You are aware of my closeness. you confirm hat with a gentle sigh while my palm tenderly slide down your fur. You still like my touch, although pain is what you mostly feel"

Such an emotional and effective read....I couldnt bring myself to read this in one go. Thats how this book cruely played with my feelings! To make thinks worse the author portraits you as his dieing cat
Giving you the sence of the cats pain and misery..This book really gave me a heartache..Even though I never owned a cat..after this book I needed to go out for along walk with my Golden retrevier....

The author made a brilliant job at sucking you into the book at page 1!
The world mr.Jan built is claery visible and heartaching...
You feel what he felt!
Gladly I cant cry to books..But if I could...I totallly would!

Recommend this loads!!!!!!!!
Just read no more of this review
Just go and read this book!
Throw out your currently-reading book and READ THIS!!!

Max Grande at Goodreads

A World Without Color is a tearjerker for sure so have a box of tissues on hand. Most, including my family, have lost a pet of several pets over the years. The author is a detailed, talented serious writer. It is a fast story and packed with lots of powerful emotions. It teaches us about love and loss.

Michael Holda at Goodreads

Book about loss of companion, and also the saddest sadness of any kind that author has experienced. All sensitive, intelligent people do feel that intensity of pain in such loss. Books like this makes you appreciate being alive and being able to feel ups and downs wave of pulse in life stream.

I'm glad that this story is a book because reading it in silence is like prayer, like tribute to this relationship and recognition that animal friends are just part of the family.

Ps "got a free copy from the author in exchange for an honest review"

Mischenko at Amazon

A World Without Color: A True Story of the Last Three Days with my Cat is a short memoir about one family’s experience of losing a beloved pet, a cat named Marcel. Bernard Jan lays out his experience with Marcel’s last 3 days of life as the emotions pour out of him on screen.

I found this book on Goodreads this morning after reading one of Bernard Jan’s blog posts and it sounded like a must read. As a person who has many pets, I sometimes think about what it’ll be like when the time comes to let them go. I wonder when, how, and what sort of choices I’ll have to make. In this book, the author tells his whole story about what his cat Marcel’s last 3 days were like interlaced with memories of the past. He writes about the effects of losing a best friend for himself and his family.

At multiple times I cried and could feel his emotions. He expresses what he’s feeling physically, his thoughts and emotions, everything so raw and real. Despite the sadness, I love the way this author writes.

“And wherever I go, whatever I do, I will try to let you also feel a touch of the world through which we will walk together. I’ll be your eyes. My heart will beat for you. My lungs will soak up the scents of the seasons, and the music from the radio will lull us to sleep together.”

At first, I wasn’t sure about the additional ending. I felt like the fact that it was a true story meant that it should end the way the real story did, but it was unique that the author included an alternative ending for those that wanted a different outcome.

The events Bernard Jan experiences are something no pet owner wants to endure. Every once in awhile you read a book by an author and you wish you could give them a hug. This is that book…

You can get this for $1.99 right now on Amazon. Kindle Unlimited Members read for FREE.

4****

mystery lover at Amazon

A heartfelt and eloquent tribute to a very special cat. Anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet will be able to relate. I certainly did.

Nico J. Genes at Goodreads

The writing style of the author is simply beautiful; honest, poetic and full of emotions. I could feel his love for his dear cat, Marcel, and it made me think that some humans aren't capable to feel for other human being that way. And it is really pity. I knew from the beginning that it will be an emotional, heartbreaking story, but I was impressed how the author managed to transmit also some of his thoughts and I do applaud him for the strong messages. Yes, it is a sad novella and I could feel tears in the corner of my eyes quite often. I felt lucky I never got to experience the tragic past days, months of pain, the loss of a pet, but I also felt admiration for what the author stands for. I am sure that Marcel was the happiest cat in the world. If only all the animals would face the same destiny. Or humans? We can do much more to make this world a better place. What is stopping us?

Olivier Delaye at Amazon

Once a long time ago I had a cat called Pugsy who meant the world to me. I rescued her from the “bag-and-river thing” when she was but a scrawny baby and she ended up living a long and happy life in our household, making our days so much brighter. This book reminded me of her, taking me back if only for a moment to my childhood when my beloved Pugsy was alive. When the writing is this good, the mind travels through space and time and the heart follows.

Peter at Goodreads

Goodbye
Bernard Jan tells in detail the last 3 days of Marcel’s life, as his cat goes through its final stages of suffering from diabetes. This story is very emotional and touching, which felt like a self-professing love poem to Marcel – his pet, his companion, his love. The emotions are raw and unrestrained and the difficult decision to stop the suffering by putting Marcel to sleep, weighs heavily on his heart yet it is the final act of kindness he can offer. “I wish I could be brave like you and look death in the face with equal force and dignity”

“My love, if you go away in a few days, the world will lose its colors and darken like the land of Mordor. 
… 
Your presence in my life is like a room filled with lamps. When you’re gone, the brightest, the prettiest one will go out. And leave behind the half-light of unclear shadows.”


The story will resonate most acutely with those that have pets where they have developed a relationship which integrates them as part of the family. It is very emotive for those that have experienced a similar situation of loss. The poetic language makes it more personal and heartfelt, and it feels like an intimate letter, a gift, which will last as a final testament to his love for Marcel.

The power of this book is that it opens an old wound or fear, a wound that you don’t want to close, a wound that itches and needs to be scratched. You need to bleed! 

My Story
I’m not an animal lover, my wife and children are. I’m more the favourite Uncle rather than immediate family. We’ve always homed abandoned cats that seem to find their way to our house – they just show up at the back door, scrawny and riddled with fleas. Perhaps it’s my wife’s love of animals and the bond she quickly forms that has prevented me from establishing any unique connections. The last addition was (is) an extremely nervous and timid stray, that surprisingly only I was able to pet and convince to come indoors. We realised she was pregnant while not much more than a kitten herself, and when it came time to give birth, we kept her indoors in her own little shelter, and I stayed with her during the 8-hour labour. The advice from those that knew better was not to interfere, otherwise, the mother may abandon her kittens, especially considering she was wild. During the first birth, the kitten died as the mother seemed confused and unable to manage her new-born. The second kitten also died as it was only half delivered before the contractions stopped and the mother gave up exhausted. I couldn’t watch this happen again and when the third birth started I actively got involved and physically helped deliver Jasmine. After the delivery, I ruptured her amniotic sac and massaged her chest until she breathed properly and moved. A process I repeated for another 2 kittens – Leo and Jive. Each kitten I presented to the mother and helped her to clean and care for them. She turned out to be a wonderful mother and overnight I became a midwife and stepfather.

Watching them grow up was so hilarious, so amazing and so precious. Jasmine was always the first to come to me as I sat on the floor, and the last to leave. She had an ongoing fascination with the laces of my trainers and so many other little memories. For the last 6 months, her routine was to go outside after breakfast and after a few hours come round to my home office window, whereby I would pick her up and lift her through the window. We would spend the next 15 minutes head to head and under my chin, receiving a lot of petting, with purring and other sounds of delight filling the air. I would get my hand and arm licked in return for a kiss on the top of her head. She lay at the end of my desk on a blanket for most of the working day, only getting up to repeat the petting every few hours or want to be cuddled in my arms. She would follow me around the house if I moved. At this point, she ceased being a cat and became my companion, my sticking plaster, my family. She was amazingly affectionate, content, and devoted to our special relationship. If I left for work she would lie outside my office door until my car pulled into the driveway, and then she would meet me as I opened the door. I would pick her up and we would hug each other – ‘I was only gone a short while’, I would explain.

On 16th May this year, a car knocked her down and killed her – 5 days before her first birthday. I found her body at the side of the road still slightly warm, blood in her mouth still wet, and her beautiful little face still so perfect. My brain shut down in shock, my gut was churned-up in nauseating pain and my heart was ripped apart. I struggled to remember how to breathe. I was too stunned to cry but the next morning while we were burying her I held her in my arms one last time and soaked her fur with tears that I didn’t even know where flooding down my face. Every day I glance at the end of my desk and picture her lying there looking up at me asking the question, ‘are you finished yet?’ ‘What about another cuddle?’ Jasmine, I miss you!

I appreciate the author providing me with the opportunity to review his book. I hope you don’t mind me telling my story as part of this review as I’ve not spoken about it until now. Maybe writing is the healing process – good luck with your healing Bernard.

Piaras at Emerald Book Reviews

There is no timetable for mourning the loss of a pet. I lost my dog Patch over four decades ago and I still think of him from time to time. A World Without Color is very well written. It’s a compelling story that for many of us, unfortunately, will be able to relate to. Well worth a read for anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet.

Rebecca Gransden at Goodreads

Death never arrives easy. Here, Bernard Jan chronicles the final stage in the life of a cat named Marcel, as Bernard, his family, and Marcel face Marcel’s death. The capacity for the depth of bond in an interspecies way has always amazed me. This has been illustrated to me very recently with the death of my own cat, Poppy. She was the runt of the litter, not meant to survive, smaller than my undersized palm when she arrived, but she lived for just about twenty-five years. I relay my story because this short book reflects the dilemmas and conflicted emotions faced when dealing with, and having ultimate responsibility for, the final breath of a creature greatly loved.

There is a default position, somewhat hanging in the ether, that over sentimentality directed towards non-human animals is indulgent and perhaps infantile: the “just get another cat” brigade, like one furry body is as interchangeable as any other, a vessel to be exploited for a particular purpose then exchanged for another to fulfil that role. The reality is more complex, to say the least. The novella is unashamed in validating the high emotions involved when dealing with any loss. Every loss we experience, even honouring the multitude commonalities, has its own very particular bite and colour.

For anyone who has had a feline presence in their life and then said goodbye to it, this account of not just the final times of Marcel but of the dedication, regrets, and sadnesses surrounding such an event, will be instantly recognisable. One aspect that stood out to me was the formidable determination of Marcel’s character, that in the face of illness the push to extract every comfort and affection life still had to offer strongly remained. This echoed Poppy’s battling and embracing personality, where the mask over her struggles remained because she wanted to be with the people she loved more than feel her pain. How lucky we are to have these raw and awkwardly pure relationships. Five stars because I read this at just the right time.

S. Jeyran Main at jeyranmain.com

A World Without Color is an emotional novella about Marcel, the beloved cat, and Bernard, the owner of this beautiful animal. Bernard shares the last three days of Marcel’s life in what I found to be a very touching story.

​The author’s emotions and the way he expresses what he endures was very raw and authentic. I felt as though, I was there as the third person and grieved as he grieved. The true love felt between the two was stunning. The work reached unsuspected depths of emotional turmoil, and the literature represented it a very lovely way.

​The only thing I would improve would be the ending. I believe a story that is real, surely can end with a tangible ending as well.

​I believe the reason why this book stands out is that nothing about it felt fabricated. If you are an animal lover, you will really enjoy reading this book and understand how it is to love an animal.

​In addition, I really like the name of the book. Life truly does lose its color when you lose your love.

Sara Flower Kjeldsen at Amazon Canada

A World Without Colour is a beautiful, heart-wrenching story of the author's final three days with his beloved cat, Marcel. His writing captures the agony of watching someone we love suffering and knowing that there is nothing we can do to help them. Sometimes we meet an animal who captures our heart and becomes like a best friend or sibling to us. To lose them inflicts indescribable pain - it is sheer, absolute hell when one we love passes away and must leave us forever.
Despite how sad this story is, I loved it because I could relate to the author's deep, horrific sense of loss once reality hit him that his cat, his dear friend, is truly dying. Facing any death is a total existential crisis - to accept that one who was once so full of life can suddenly no longer exist is one of the most difficult parts of life. This story paints such a beautiful picture of the love and devotion between a human and their animal companion.
Marcel is a fighter. Despite his deteriorating body, he holds on to what remains of his life, always fighting to get up on his own and reach his bowls to drink, purring to show Bernard, his owner, that he appreciates him and his company. The love from an animal is such a remarkable, special thing for anyone to experience. But it is so hard when they go.
I found it strangely comforting to know that other people have felt profound loss after losing their beloved pet. You will never stop missing them, no never, but in time, the incurable agony gradually fades away until one day you can think back to the happy memories you had with them and smile at the fact that life gifted you with such a wonderful connection with someone.
I would recommend this book to everyone who has experienced grief and loss. To me, this story is a work of art.

Schmerguls at Amazon

5542. A World Without Color A True Story by Bernard Jan translated from the Croatian by Bernard Jan (read 10 Mar 2018) This is a book originally published in 2017 in Croatian which the author translated into English. It tells of the last three days of the life of the author's cat, Marcel. Anyone who has suffered the death of a beloved cat, as I have, will empathize with the grief which the author and his parents go through as the cat sickens. The title of the book says it is a true story, and I prefer to believe it, even though there is a reference at the end of the account to a "novella" and an 'alternative ending' in which the author despairs. Which ending do I prefer? Obviously, the true one, since we know the author lives. The reading is not one of joy, but of poignant pain and sorrow. I appreciate the author supplying me with a copy of the book in return for this honest review.

Shaylee Jenkins at Goodreads

DO NOT READ UNLESS: you are prepared to ball your eyes out!

Simon Vandereecken at Goodreads

Beautiful and moving, at some point really hard to read when you lost someone dear. Couldn't help but empathise with this loss ❤️

SinDe at Amazon

If you have ever loved a pet, you will understand the heartfelt emotions that run throughout this book. The World Without Color is not an easy book to read. My emotions were up and down. I wanted to hug Bernard's parents, especially his dad. I wanted to thank his friend for his assistance. I wanted to scream at Bernard. Actually, I wanted to talk to him to find out what makes him tick.
There are few books I have read in recent years that have brought tears to my eyes, a sigh of relief, and such an overwhelming feeling of love. I am sure Liam, my cat, had no idea why he was getting so much love and attention. But, this true story makes us more aware of those wonderful creatures that make our lives fuller.

Stacy at Goodreads

A heart-wrenching memoir of a man's last three days in the life of his beloved cat. Bernard had spent nearly 15 years with Marcel, his cat. It had become his confidante, companion, like a sibling, seeing him through difficult situations, as watching his grandmother slowly fade and die from dementia to through troubling times as the dangerous and frightening Croatian War of Independence. He had basically grown up with him, and what pain and grief engulfed him as he watched the life of his best friend come to an end. The book is also like a letter to Marcel chronicling those last days, and a tribute to the life and experiences they had shared together. The reader can truly feel the anguish Bernard felt watching his beloved feline's life be extinguished. I received this copy from the author in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Bernard!

Starjustin at Goodreads

When I started reading A World Without Color, from the very first few sentences I knew what it would be like and I was very emotional from beginning to end. Bernard Jan put into this short novella, a lifetime spent with his beloved Marcel and describes how the very last days of Marcel's life were prior to his passing at fourteen plus years old. I am a cat owner and found myself identifying with the authors feelings and grieving process. I am not sure why more have not taken the time to experience this book and I see that many have marked it to read. 

The author says to Marcel "you are here, you exist beside me, and I am grateful for your life." Very heart-wrenching in his thoughts to Marcel. " You represent what is worthy and should be fought for: you are a symbol of incorruptibility, benevolence, innocence, purity, kindness, sincerity, selflessness, goodness, friendship, and love, qualities that should inhabit every corner of this planet. If 'we' were all like you, we wouldn't need redemption." Such powerful words to write. 

I loved this book and I highly recommend it to all to read. :-)

Stefan Vucak at stefanvucak.com

Bernard is standing vigil over his terminally ill cat, caressing it, helping it feed, watching it, remembering the good days they had. He fleetingly considers putting it down to relieve its pain and misery, but decided against it. As long as the cat had life and a will to fight, he would let it live. The cat helped him cope with his grandmother’s dementia, and now, it was his turn to stand watch over his dearest pet. Watching the cat, he reminisces about the good times they had together. Realizing the cat will die soon, he feels some color and vibrancy will vanish from the world. He wondered if cats had dreams and what his cat dreamt about in its final days. He decides he will never get another pet, the pain of letting go after years of attachment would be too painful. Bernard finds the process of putting down his cat, making its passing a beautiful thing, particularly painful. Afterward, he and has his family offer each other mutual support.

​In A World Without Color, a moment of true life, Bernard Jan takes readers through a somber and thoughtful journey of mental anguish, reflection, and shared suffering over a beloved pet he cannot save. It is a journey filled with vivid images, little anecdotes of shared events, regrets and helplessness to alter time. It is also a dark journey which some readers will not want to face, or have already faced after losing a loved one, but Bernard Jan walks readers through his sorrow with unusual sensitivity and insight. His emotions are palpable, and I was caught up in his sorrow, watching his pet slowly die, unable to prevent its passing. This short novella is beautifully written and easy to read, leaving me pondering the fleeting nature of time and life.

Review also posted on Amazon and Goodreads.

Stephanie Jane at Literary Flit

I initially spotted A World Without Color when author Rebecca Gransden reviewed it on Goodreads. She loved this memoir and I had loved her books so I hoped Benard Jan's writing would appeal to me as much as it did to Rebecca. It certainly did!

A World Without Color is Bernard Jan's intensely emotional memories of his cat, Marcel's, last three days and nights of life. Jan's writing is raw with grief yet also beautifully sentimental. He remembers happy moments in Marcel's life and how this cat became as much as part of the family as if he were human. I found myself sometimes welling up as Jan's words brought back memories of my childhood cat. I did often feel upset as I read his words and it's a measure of his delicate touch as a writer that, despite the heartfelt emotion displayed throughout A World Without Color, the memoir is ultimately uplifting and I came away from it almost with a sense of peace at having worked through more of my own bereavement losses, both animal and human.

Readers should be aware that this memoir is likely to trigger negative thoughts and perhaps care should be taken not to read it if one is too close to a bereavement of one's own. However, in the same way as reading A Monster Calls (Patrick Ness), I actually found being given such unrestrained access to Jan's grief was beneficial in dealing with my own.

Also published on Amazon UK and Goodreads.

Stjepan Varesevac Cobets at Amazon

Since we are all mortals, whether we humans or animals, always comes a moment that we have to leave this world. And everyone has stressful events in his life, when as leave someone dear whom we loved very much. In the book "The World Without Color: A True Story Of The Last Three Days With My Cat" by Bernard Jan, the writer examines his innermost feelings in difficult moments when his cats Marcel leaves this world. His pain and affection for Marcela can be felt in every word he transmitted to the paper. Love and loss are felt in every little thought and word, so the reader simply has to identify with his tough loss of someone he loves. While reading the book this sadness just affects your feelings and you simply must elicit a tear in his eye. Although the book is very sad, the writer shows us how honest love is great and when sad moments come to life. In the end, we remain the only memories and we can hope that we will in a parallel world to be together again. I would recommend the book to all animal lovers and lovers of true love.

Tarheels at Amazon

This is an emotionally- resonant and very touching story about a man who lost his beloved cat. Bernard Jan truly gets what it is like to be loved by a cat.

Taylor at Amazon

Croatian author Bernard Jan approached me on Twitter and offered me a copy of his memoir, A World Without Color, as a free .mobi file in exchange for an honest review.

This story is a heartwarming and emotional ode to the last three days that the author spent with his cat, Marcel. Although I read far more fiction than nonfiction, I enjoyed the book and was honored that Mr. Jan would offer to share such a personal memoir with me and the rest of the world.

To see my full review, complete with a list of pros and cons of the book, visit my book review blog, Bitty Book Nook! We can be found on both Twitter and Facebook.

I thought that this memoir was extremely touching, and I would recommend it to any animal lover, especially those that might be dealing with grief or loss. Mr. Jan, thank you so much for sharing your work with me. I look forward to seeing more from you in the future!

TeaAndBooks at Goodreads

I received a free eBook copy of this book in exchange of an honest review.

Writing: 5/5
Originality: 5/5
Style: 5/5

Firstly, I would live to give a huge thank you to Bernard Jan, the author of this incredible and heart-lifting novel, for sending me a review copy!

A World Without Colour: A True Story Of the Last Three Days With My Cat is an emotional novella and memoir about his last three days with his cat. This was a short read which only made it more enjoyable- it made it honest and not exaggerated. I truly enjoyed the main concept of this novella and how truthful it was. The author placed his raw thoughts into words and produced a moving read.

The novella felt poetic and moved me to tears. The way each thought and feeling was described was simply incredible. It takes a lot of skill to describe emotions and Bernard Jan has mastered this skill!

“My love, if you go away in a few days, the world will lose its colors and darken like the land of Mordor. If you go away and leave me to wander aimlessly, alone in this sea become wild, like a ship with a broken rudder and drowned sailors, and if I don't find comfort in the warmth of your body, clutched in my embrace at the end of the day, I'm afraid I won't survive.”

I myself have grown up with many pets including cats. This truly had me re-evaluate my own experience when several of my cats died and had me realise how tragic it truly was. I then understood why my family was so upset. Animals are speechless but have feelings and emotions just as a human might do and Bernard Jan has proven that.

“And wherever I go, whatever I do, I will try to let you also feel a touch of the world through which we will walk together. I’ll be your eyes. My heart will beat for you. My lungs will soak up the scents of the seasons, and the music from the radio will lull us to sleep together.”

The second-person writing style made the novella more persona and, as a reader, I could see things from Marcel’s (the beautiful cat) point of view.
I was so captivated by the author’s description of pain. It was beautiful yet tragic and this was truly incredible.

“But I care about you, as I would care about my brother if I had the chance to get to know him- an immediate family member, or a loyal friend to whom this faithless world gave birth. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but their words won’t hurt me. What I’m not sure about, but would like to know, is if I have been at least half as faithful to you as you have been faithful to me. Will you forgive me the moments I have devoted to others, which were rightly yours?”

“Sometimes the animals are so sick they walk on the edge of the abyss, but they don’t have the strength to jump into it. They wait for us to push them over the edge and for that they are grateful. Little one, I hope your fall wasn’t painful.”

My thoughts are with Bernard Jan and his family. The events he went through have honestly moved me and it was very difficult to read this book in one sitting!

I highly recommend this book and I hope that everyone takes a chance to read it! I also hope to hear more from this incredible author who has become one of my greatest inspirations.

Teresa Durso at Amazon

Wonderful, sensitive & emotionally-moving memoir about the final days in a feline friend's life as written by the loving guardian of Marcel.

Toni Osborne at Amazon

What a wonderful but terribly sad story and homage to a beloved pet.

When Bernard Jan lost Marcel, he shares the three days emotional turmoil he and his family encountered throughout the process before they had to say goodbye. What a tearjerker. M. Jan captures all the emotions and imagery pet owners in this situation experiences. Losing a pet whether it is a cat, a dog, a bird even a reptile is extremely hard. Trying to rationalize the decisions and convincing ourselves that it is the right thing to do and all will be ok is easier said than done.

In this 100 pages or so Marcel’s movement and struggles are showcased along the pain Jan and his family went through. It is an extremely hard book to read, I had so many tears I had to put it down several times. I kept remembering losing my long-time companion of 18 years, mon petit “Minou” d’amour and all the good times we had together. I miss her still....

Mr. Jan also share with us their 15 years of treasured life Marcel and he had together from the moment he adopted him till his last breath. I felt the intensity in the writing, the description and moments. This is so masterfully done.

This is an emotional and moving book, extremely well written and powerful.

Tracey at Amazon

What a beautiful and emotional story. I felt the pain and it brought back the memories of my cat who passed away 2 years ago. Bernard’s last few days were very reminiscent of the last few days in our cats life. It is truly a heartbreaking experience to go through. A great book to read

Tracey Quintin at Amazon

I've been wanting to read this story by Bernard Jan for some time. I first became aware of it on Twitter. I knew this would be a hard story for me personally to read as we lost our much beloved, Nibbles, 2yrs ago this coming New Year's Eve day. She was a daughter to me, through everything in life with her unconditional love, and like Bernard and his family, did all we could to save her and have her stay with us longer.

God only knows why I chose to read this today, Christmas Day. Perhaps as a message guiding me towards healing?
Bernard did a wonderful job detailing the last days of Marcel's life, his love and his family's love for their beloved furbaby.

Marcel knew how much love was surrounding his earthly presence and I've no doubt he guided Bernard in his last days just as he did thought his life with the family.

When people say it's only a cat (or dog), they are WRONG. They are just as much part of our family as a human is. The pain is unbelievable.

I felt your personal pain Bernard and now know I'm not alone in feeling this way. Some of the things you wrote we're exactly what I experienced.

The only reason I've given this a 4 star is because I got tripped up a few times and got confused with the writing and then the ending. That may be from the translation. I'm not sure.

Real, emotional, short memoir. Get tissues ready.

Be free Marcel, be pain free and play over the Rainbow Bridge ❤️

Vicky Whedbee at Goodreads

Heart-wrenching!

Wow. Such an incredibly touching story. My heart ached with emotion. Those who have never had a beloved pet would never understand the gravity of losing one, but if they read this, it would be impossible not to glimpse the pain associated with the loss of one. Well written and bittersweet.

Yoong at Amazon

I feel your pain, brother. My cat, Kali Durga passed a couple of years ago. I was devastated but I was glad she no longer has to endure the suffering of her last weeks. It was painful to see her suffer. I was relieved when she returned in the form of a beautiful bird to inform me she is in a peaceful place. As is often the case, it is those who are left behind after the passing of a beloved that leaves mordant cicatrixes within our compassionate and tenuous psyche.
A World Without Color is well written and reflects the author's sympathetic, empathetic and loving sensitivities towards animals and I'm sure humans alike. Kudos to Bernard Jan for his remarkable iteration of an age old relationship between pets and their owners. A compelling story that many of us can relate to.

Zane Summerfield at Amazon

Being a pet owner of two cats and recently nearly losing one I was able to relate to this story on another level entirely.

Life is so precious even that of our beloved animals. And Bernard Jan makes it very clear of just how precious in a way that I haven’t read before.

The beauty of this book is the true rawness, the ability to be pulled in and feel as if you were now Bernard Jan.

Reading this so close to the almost death of one of our own cats had me in tears. If you love cats you will feel this emotion as you read this incredible and wonderfully told story.

I highly recommend this book with the greatest of passions.

News
04/19/2020
14 Years Since You’ve Been Gone

I still remember you. And the day we parted. I will never forget the moment my heart turned into ashes.

And the pain. And agony. And sorrow for the days we won’t share, ever again.

It’s painful to even think about it. But it’s a comfort knowing we had each other. And love we shared that I still feel for you.

You spread love and good vibrations wherever you appear as you have all these fourteen years and nine months. I don’t know about you, but if someone gives us as much time as a gift, it won’t be enough for me. On second thoughts, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Thanks to you I could survive the dementia, illness and death of my grandmother, who vegetated for years before she found her deserved peace. Thanks to you I managed to cope every day with atrocious images of animals raised and slaughtered for human consumption, massacred in laboratory experiments, skinned for their fur... or those unwanted and discarded before they were run over on the roads. You were one of them too—discarded. Unwanted. One of those sentenced to death immediately after birth. Luck has smiled on you in the end. If I’m to be honest, luck favored us. Many times I thought: if it wasn’t for you, this family might have already gone to hell. But you keep us together. As the gravity of the home planet holds its satellites, not allowing them to wander into the universe of the unknown.

I hope many of my readers and fans will read your story. Because you deserve it. Because your life was not in vain, you were the best gift I could have hoped for from this life.

Thank you for everything.

 

In Memoriam

Marcel

April 19, 2006–April 19, 2020

 

A World Without Color, the true story of the last three days we spent together, is still on Amazon as an eBook and paperback. Waiting for the world to know about you.

BJ

04/19/2021
15 Years Without You

I don’t care about the dates and numbers anymore. They have less and less importance as I am growing older. Other things are becoming priorities. But I won’t forget the day you left us. I will remember that date as long as there is a spark of sanity left in me.

I miss you, Marcel.

***

The more I get into the depth of your character and dive into the sea of kindness with which you abound, the harder for me is everything I have done to sin against you. Everything I denied you.

Forgive me.

Forgive me. It was a beautiful day last week. I think it was Friday. The sun warmed like no other day of the year. There was a pleasant wind, and the scents of flowers and sprouted grass rose from the ground. I thought I would pick fresh green grass for you as soon as it grew a little more. I thought I’d surprise you with this gift. But I will never give it to you, love, and that makes me feel like garbage. If I had known. If I had only sensed—if I had wanted to admit to myself!—you could have tasted the first grass of this spring, no matter how short and unripe its leaves were. But I was a coward and ran from reality! I stole from you the last touch of just-awakened nature, because not even the trees had fully bloomed yet.

***

In Memoriam

Marcel

April 19, 2006–April 19, 2020

A World Without Color, the true story of our last three days together, still lives on Amazon as an eBook and paperback. Waiting for the world to read about you.

BJ

12/24/2021
A Holiday All-Books Sale

I did it! For the first time. I discounted all my books to ONLY $0.99!

It is my gift to all my readers, reviewers, and supporters, to all of you who loved one or more of my stories, and to all of you who will yet become their fans.

Check out the dates and links below for these fantastic discounts.

Sunday, December 26, 2021, 8:00 AM PST through Sunday, January 2, 2022, 12:00 AM PST

Cruel Summer
January River
Look for Me Under the Rainbow
A World Without Color

Grab this unique opportunity and don’t look any further.

Thank you for your love and support, and please don’t forget to leave your honest reviews. It can be just a one or two-sentence honest thought or impression.

May the new 2022 year bring you everything you wished for and 2021 denied to you, and even more! Happy Holidays!

BJ

03/14/2018
A Thriller-Like Poll

By a heartbeat my book A World Without Color ended up first on the novella of the week poll today in a super exciting photo finish in the last minute!

A piece of my heart goes to everyone who voted for my book in the past few days. My respect and gratitude to you all!

My respect also goes to the other two books and authors, especially to Andie J Fessey who walked arm to arm with me all along the way and deserved the victory too.

The Twitter poll was organized by Book Recommendations & Promotions and I thank them for considering A World Without Color as one of the contestant for their novella of the week. Please follow them on Twitter at @UkBookrecom.

I would also like to ask you to give support to the other two authors who competed with me in the March 8-14 poll. Here are the books and Twitter accounts of all of us competing authors:

Two Hours by Andie J Fessey @AJFessey
Ascension: Trial of the Juditioner by Michael Kubit @MDKwrites
A World Without Color by Bernard Jan @BernardJanWorld

Thank you for sharing your love with us!

BJ

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03/29/2018
A World Without Color News & Updates

Thanks to everyone who downloaded my ebook A World Without Color during its free promo days March 21-25, 2018! And another thank you to those who already posted their honest reviews on Amazon and shared their support and kindness with me.

As I announced before and during the free promo days, as of March 27, 2018 A World Without Color is no longer available for free reading with Kindle Unlimited. Instead of that I am lowering its price from $1.99 to $0.99 so those to whom every dollar counts could get it and read it at a cheaper price.

A special bonus of the free book will go to my new followers and subscribers to my blog Muse as a token appreciation for their support. If you are one of my earlier subscribers and don't have A World Without Color ebook or paperback but want to read it, shoot me a message and I will send you a free PDF copy.

I want to share one more item of news with you. During March 23-29 A World Without Color was one of the Book Recommendations & Promotions book of the month finalists with Comet by @AJFessey and The Little Leprechaun Who Loved Yellow by @SallyHuss. It won the second place. My sincere thanks to everyone who voted for it and congratulations to the winner Andie!

Please keep following me for news and updates. Thanks!

Bernard Jan
www.bernardjan.com

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09/11/2017
Anniversary Giveaway

Welcome to the A World Without Color giveaway!
 
Date: Sept 11 – Sept 25, 2017
 
On September 11 I am marking two years of launching my official website www.bernardjan.com and one year of my Twitter account @BernardJanWorld!
 
For that occasion I've partnered with Animal Bliss blog to give two e-books of my novella A World Without Color to two lucky winners and subscribers of the Animal Bliss blog in a two-weeks giveaway contest.
 
A World Without Color is a powerful, emotional and honest true story of the last three days I spent with my cat Marcel.
 
If you love animals, don't miss the opportunity to be one of two lucky winners of this heartfelt and moving novella!
 
I don't condition but appreciate the winners to subscribe to my blog Muse and follow me on Twitter or LinkedIn. I will be happy to connect with you and follow you back too!
 
Reviews on Amazon and your votes at the AUTHORSdb Cover Contest 2017 are also welcome!

Thank you!
 
BJ
 
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09/30/2017
Anniversary Giveaway Winners & Emergency Announcement

I am happy to announce the two lucky winners of my first ever giveaway and I thank Jeanne Melanson and her cool Animal Bliss blog for being such a kind host to my Anniversary Giveaway!
 
Out of 320 entries, Victoria Kondovski and Michael Nicodemus Holda were the two luckiest random winners to get my e-book A World Without Color! However, since Michael in the meantime got my e-book and already wrote a very nice and passionate review for it, he was kind enough to let Jeanne pick another winner and make her happy. So the second lucky winner is Natalie Hartmann! Congratulations, guys!
 
There is good news for the rest of you too. The A World Without Color e-book is still available at KindleUnlimted so you can read it there for free. Even if you purchase a copy for your library, both the paperback and e-book prices are symbolic ones and affordable for everyone.
 
So thank you for clicking that "Buy now with 1-Click" button and for leaving an honest review. I look forward to your comments!
 
If you are still in the mood to take part in book cover contests, you can vote for my book cover in AUTHORSdb Cover Contest 2017. Your votes are important and thanks to them my book will have the chance to go to the next round in October.
 
This week I also entered another contest—2017 Readers Choice Awards by TCK Publishing. My book A World Without Color is competing for the book of the year in the category Memoir. I would really appreciate your kind votes of support on page 6.
 
Thank you all for your kind support!
 
Emergency Announcement
 
This goes out for my friend and fellow indie author Angel Ramon. Angel lives in Salinas, Puerto Rico, which has been struck by a hurricane twice recently. The last hurricane Maria was devastating for the whole island, leaving it without electricity, running water and with shattered homes.
 
Even though Angel is not able to communicate with us, his books are. They are still online, waiting for us to purchase, read and review them. Please open your hearts and help the author in need. It is very important to keep his books selling not only as a moral support but because it may be his only source of income for a while.
 
To buy one or more Angel's books please visit his Amazon author's page.
 
Thank you.
 
BJ
 
Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
 
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08/19/2017
Cover of the month August

This month my e-book A World Without Color is competing for the Cover of the Month August AllAuthor contest!

On August 15 it has earned a spot in the top 50 and entry into the next round! Currently it ranks #2!

If you want to vote for it and help it win the contest, please click at the following link: https://allauthor.com/cover-of-the-month/839/

Thank you! 

BJ

08/20/2017
Cover Wars

My book has entered another best book cover contest this month; this time it is Cover Wars!

Each week Author Shout posts 15 book covers in Cover Wars and at the end of the week (Sunday at 8 AM EST) voting will end. The cover with the most votes becomes their book of the week. They will promote it for one week on their website, shout outs, and their newsletter.

Please vote for my A World Without Color book cover. You can vote more than once, but only vote once a day. You can vote again only after full 24 hours or the vote will not count.You can show further support to my book by clicking on its link and purchasing it if you haven't done so already. :)

Another book cover contest

In AllAuthor Cover of the month August contest my book cover has been shortlisted and earned a spot in top 50 (out of 113 books which started the contest).

Its current rank is #2 and I'm going after #1! For that I need your support. Please vote for A World Without Color now! The contest will be open until the end of August.

Thank you!

BJ

Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media

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03/21/2018
Download My Book for Free!

This is a onetime opportunity! Five days of free download of my book!

Wednesday, March 21, 2018, 12:00 AM PDT to Sunday, March 25, 2018, 11:59 PM PDT

Remember those dates, don't miss the opportunity to get A World Without Color, the true story of the last three days with my cat, at no cost for you!

On March 27, 2018 I am pulling my book out of KDP Select so it won't be available as free read on Amazon anymore. This is why this opportunity is the perfect time for you to get your ebook for free and read (and review it too) at your own time and pace.

Even if you don't get A World Without Color for free during those five days from March 21 to March 25, it won't be the end of the world, for you will be able to get it at a discount price. But more about it... later.

Good luck on my book hunt from March 21 to March 25, hope you will enjoy reading it! And don't forget, honest reviews are welcome and appreciated. :)

FREE DOWNLOAD HERE: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071FTK9HV

Bernard Jan

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04/19/2022
For Marcel: 16 Years Later

You are the one thing I will never forget. I miss you and I love you, Marcel.

***

The next time I wake up on time. About an hour has passed, and you wait for me to take you in my arms and carry you to the bowls with food. No problem, love. Tonight I’m yours. Count on me. When you’re done, I carry you to the corridor between the kitchen, pantry, children’s and living room, where three boxes make up your small bathroom. A pile of newspaper is spread below them. I lower you into the nearest box, with fresh kitty litter covered with three layers of paper towels. My slippers rustle through the papers, under which is ammonia-eaten and bleached parquet—a consequence of your slumbering and belated attempts to get to the toilet. So as not to wake my parents, I close the door to the corridor in front of their room. I listen. Hearing quiet snoring from a dark room, I give in to your stubbornness. I take you back under the table with unfinished business. It’s the night. I’m tired and have no energy—or heart—to fight against your character and will. That’s what I appreciate about you. You don’t allow yourself to be bossed around and you do things in your own time, reminding me of myself! I wait until your breathing calms again, and then I crawl into bed too.

Mom wakes up just before seven o’clock, groggy and with trepidation about whether this morning she will also find wet newspaper and more eaten parquet. By the time she is up, we have repeated your nightly ritual five more times. The last time I lay in bed a little after six o’clock, long ago having turned off the desk lamp, accompanied by the dawn that pressed through the windows with open curtains and lifted blinds. Fatigue crawls through my body, and I catch the last hour of an illusory dream before facing the challenge of a new day.

***

In Memoriam

Marcel

April 19, 2006–April 19, 2022

 

Read our true story here: A World Without Color on Amazon as an eBook and a paperback.

Thank you.

BJ

 

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11/17/2017
Gold!

After winning the 2nd place in AllAuthor contest Cover of the month August and the 3rd place in Author Shout one-week contest Cover Wars, A World Without Color cover won the 1st place as the cover of the year in a Literary Fiction category of AUTHORSdb contest!
 
Getting this gold is overwhelming: a great honor, a reward, thrill, happiness, joy, elation, confusion, disbelief, gratitude, humbleness!
 
I am grateful beyond words to my book cover designer Mario Kožar from MKM Media and the photographer and owner of the awesome selfie with his cat Oswald, Zach Singh, and to all of you who voted for my book cover! My thanks and respect because your votes are this victory too!
 
As much winning the gold in the AUTHORSdb book cover contest is fantastic and a great honor, there is not plenty of time to celebrate. My novella A World Without Color is still nominated in the TCK Publishing 2017 Readers Choice Awards contest! If you want to cast a vote for it as your choice of the book of the year, please go to page 6/16 to the category Memoir by following this link and click a vote for A World Without Color. Thank you!
 
My true story is more than just a pretty face (or cover!) so do a little something for you and give yourself a nice and inexpensive pre-holiday gift. Or read it for free on Kindle Unlimited if you prefer that. Great feedback and many positive reviews speak in favor of it. So why wouldn't you be one of its readers and fans as well who wrote their honest reviews on Amazon and Goodreads? That'd be cool, don't you agree?
 
Once more my appreciation and gratitude for your love and kind support! This is huge for a first-time indie author of another native tongue like me who pushes his limits to produce and deliver you a book you will love, cherish, feel, read and reread, and remember.
 
Thank you for sharing what you love with those who appreciate it. You have my love and devotion!
 
Bernard Jan
www.bernardjan.com
 
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04/19/2018
In Memoriam: Marcel

I absorb into my memory your big, yellow-green and somewhat tired eyes, knowing that a little longer, a little bit longer, and their flame will disappear. Although they will still be open, they will no longer watch me, nor will I see them. Never again....

How much longer will I miss you? How much longer I will love you?

If there is forever, then forever it is.

A World Without Color is a story of my one and only cat Marcel. As true as life can be.

If you ever felt and loved deeply, this is the story for you. A memoir of everything you experience if you are not afraid to love unconditionally, completely.

Those of you with your own stories will understand what I am saying. Those of you who are still considering or have just started to write their stories, don't be afraid to love. Spread it and embrace everything that comes with it. Because then it is real.

Please buy my book A World Without Color on Amazon or subscribe to my blog Muse to download it for free. Let's remember Marcel together. Thank you.

In Memoriam
Marcel
April 19, 2006 – April 19, 2018

The dream refuses to give me forgiveness. I won't be granted mercy. I stay awake in agony while minutes tick by into the future.

Bernard Jan
www.bernardjan.com

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01/04/2018
Marcel and Oswald

The original idea for writing this post was to say thanks and reflect with a few figures on the launch and the journey of my book A World Without Color in 2017. That I will do as planned, but first I must let you know about something that happened on the last day of 2017.

With deep regret and sadness in my heart I have to tell you that Oswald, the beautiful cat from the cover of my book, has passed away. I learned that in the early afternoon hours of December 31st, 2017 and spilled many tears that day.

Zach Singh, a New York-based photographer, and his cat Oswald brought the story of my beloved cat Marcel to life. Marcel had passed away on April 19, 2006 and left me heartbroken. Last year I brought him back to life again by publishing his story in English so I could share it with all of you.

Oswald and Zach are the two great guys on the photo of my book cover who gave the prettiest face and character to my book. I am eternally grateful to Zach for letting me use it. My joy was honest, true and profound as much as is my sadness now at losing Oswald. Oswald is no longer with his beloved family. Instead, together with Marcel, while he keeps on living in my book and in the hearts of those who loved and still love him.

Thanks to Oswald, Marcel and my love for him are alive for you too, and thanks to Marcel and his story, Oswald will live as long as my book lives. And that, my dear readers, depends on you and me.

Thanks to you and only you, A World Without Color had a good start last year.

I published it as e-book on July 1 and as paperback on September 13, 2017.

Its two awesome trailers (B/W and the blue edition) produced by Mario Kožar MKM Media, who also designed the great book cover, were released on October 29, 2017.

A World Without Color was one of the nominees in the TCK Publishing 2017 Readers Choice Awards in the Memoir category for the book of the year and also took part in four book cover contests.

My book cover was reviewed by The Book Designer in the e-Book Cover Design Awards for July 2017 while thanks to you it won the 3rd place in Cover Wars in Author Shout one-week contest, the 2nd place in the AllAuthor Cover of the month August contest and gold or the 1st place in the Literary Fiction category of AUTHORSdb contest! Thank you all for your votes!

You supported it in the Anniversary Giveaway on the Animal Bliss blog when two lucky winners out of 320 entries got my e-book!

Those of you who bought it or read it for free with Kindle Unlimited rewarded A World Without Color with great and touching reviews: 24 reviews on Amazon, 6 reviews on Amazon UK and 27 reviews and 36 ratings on Goodreads!

For that I am thankful to you, my fellow readers, authors and dear supporters! Thank you for accepting my book so well, thank you for reading and reviewing it and for spreading the message all over the Internet and your social network platforms!

There is one thing I learned from the past and my first six months as an indie author. Indie authors are not competitors, they are friends and supporters (at least those I know). We are encouragement to each other and that's the nicest thing about self-publishing and being an indie. Together with our faithful readers and honest reviewers, we are one body that lives and breathes for good books. And that is fantastic!

My sincere gratitude goes to each and every one of you for giving a chance to my true story of the last three days I spent with my cat Marcel. Thank you for accepting and loving it, thank you for shedding tears with me.

If they were alive, both Marcel and Oswald would purr their gratitude to you, dancing with their tails up around your legs or jumping into your lap for a cuddle or the feels-so-good scratching behind their ears and under their chins.

Although they are gone and no longer with us, you can still try to do that with the power of your imagination and with cuddles through the lines and pages of A World Without Color.

I thank you for your continuous support to A World Without Color in the new year and hopefully years to come and to my new books and other projects.

Have a fantastic year full of great books, love each other and love and care for your and other animals!

Bernard Jan
www.bernardjan.com

Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media

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04/19/2019
Marcel: 13 Years Later

Thirteen is my lucky number. But not when it’s the number of the years I’ve been missing you. Not when I go through life without you. My brother, my friend, my everything.

My heart is full and empty, of memories and sadness. Despite losing you, I’m a rich man, thanks to you.

You are not here anymore but your monument is still standing. As long as I stand, and maybe even a little longer. Thanks to everyone who reads about you and loved you.

A World Without Color is your home now. This is where we live, love.

Thank you for everything.

My thoughts come rushing back like raging currents of mountain rivers that do not stop for anything or anyone. Hurrying with a roar to their finish line, completely self-sufficient. Each word I make immortal here must be engraved with the dedication of a blind stonemason who, just by sense of touch and guided by indestructible faith, creates from the shapeless mass a work which present generations, but also those who come after, will admire. Those who are alive today, and their children who are just born, setting the foundation for new generations. This is our written monument and I snuggle up against it, blinded by the pain inflicted upon me by every minute that takes us into the future. The future is what I want to avoid at any cost, selfishly keeping the present so these moments last as long as possible. Not thinking about you and the relief it will bring you. We are both on the road of no return. Do you think so too? Do you also feel at least a fraction of regret we will part soon, with no guarantee and no promise that, in the blink of an eye or the distant future, we might meet each other again? Tell me, dearest....

 

In Memoriam

Marcel

April 19, 2006 – April 19, 2019

 

Please read our story on Amazon.

Bernard Jan

04/19/2023
Marcel: 17 Years Without You

It’s been all said already, many times, through the rivers of tears and one story that keeps living even 17 years after your departure.

I wish I could have gone with you that day, but I am still here, remembering and trying to keep the memory of you alive—your monument—while I still breathe the air we used to breathe together.

I love you and I miss you. I always will. You were my best friend ever.

***

I stand on the balcony, and three floors below me, with noise and shudders of the building, the traffic glides down the street. Carried by light drifts, the clouds float on the sky, promising rain. I watch Saša and you leaving, pushing your way through the illegally parked cars and bulky waste carried out by tenants because they no longer need it.

It is April 19.

I follow you as you are getting more distant and smaller, shaking from crying, with the body tired of life. Saša has to step on the street to bypass the waste and the cars parked on the sidewalk, and then I lose sight of you. Of the blue bag with yellow handles in which your still warm and curled up body slept. When after a few steps he returns to the sidewalk, I lose him, too.

 

I gather strength and make the final decision. I strain my thoughts and force my body to move.

I’m on the balcony. I move along its length, not stopping until the end, until I come to the railing. On the table I have left a will with clear instructions, so that animals are not deprived of their rights in case something goes wrong and my plan fails. On top of it I put your favorite photo and the syringes I won’t need anymore.

Now I am free.

Now I live at last.

And I look the enemy in the eyes.

I challenge death to the last duel. Defying it with the strength, I wish to believe, of not-wasted life. My actions will speak for or against me. And one monument I built. Now completed, it will beautify life for someone. Some will grieve and cry, others may be enraged. Many won’t understand. That’s the way with people. Always.

***

In Memoriam

Marcel

April 19, 2006–April 19, 2023

 

Please continue reading our true story, A World Without Color, as an eBook or a paperback.

Thank you.

BJ

 

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09/03/2017
My Book Cover Contests

The last few weeks were marked by my e-book A World Without Color taking part in a few cover contests. I should be pleased with how it all ended, though it was such a tight fight to win the AllAuthor contest—I lost it by five votes only!
 
The Book Designer
 
My book didn't win the e-Book Cover Design Awards for July 2017 among 93 entries in fiction category. However, it has received the following comment: "An interesting approach, but the composition never comes together, weakening your message. Although it's an ebook only, the cover looks like it was designed more for print."
 
True, the cover was designed both for print and an e-book but due to some technical problems the paperback edition is late; I hope it will be published this month.
 
Cover Wars
 
In Author Shout one-week contest Cover Wars, my book won the 3rd place out of 15 entries that started to compete on August 20 for the title "Book Of The Week". Not bad, huh?
 
AllAuthor
 
AllAuthor Cover of the month August contest is my favorite and most exciting contest so far! 113 books started the contest, 24 ended up in finals, and after a long and tight competition with the winner, my book ended up ranked as #2 with only 5 votes behind!
 
I am proud of this success and very grateful to more than 450 of you who registered to vote for my book cover both in AllAuthor and Cover Wars contests!
 
AUTHORSdb—The Voting Continues!
 
On August 31, my e-book A World Without Color has been approved for the ongoing AUTHORSdb Cover Contest 2017! First round voting closes October 15, 2017, so please vote for my book now!
 
Please vote at the following link here http://bit.ly/2wYI7e1 or, if you prefer, get to it via Facebook or Pinterest.
 
Thank you for helping my book get to the next round of voting!
 
You can show further support to my book by purchasing it at Amazon or reading it for free at Kindle Unlimited and leaving an honest review.
 
Thank you very much!
 
BJ
 
Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
 
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10/29/2017
My Book Trailer!

Mario Kožar from MKM Media is the man behind the great cover of my book A World Without Color, designed with the photo by the young fashion, lifestyle and portrait photographer Zach Singh.
 
Beside the cover, which collects only praises and sympathies, Mario also did and edited the A World Without Color book trailer! You can see both versions—B&W and blue edition—hosted on my YouTube channel. Feel free to like and share them and subscribe to my YouTube channel!
 
For more information about Mario's graphic and design, video editing and web design visit his website www.mkm-media.it or connect with him on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook.
 
Please visit Amazon to purchase and review A World Without Color as paperback or e-book. Subscribers to Kindle Unlimited can read it for free! It is an honest, emotional and powerful true story that won't leave you indifferent.
 
If you like it, kindly vote for my novella A World Without Color in the TCK Publishing 2017 Readers Choice Awards contest by following this link and browsing to page 6/16 to the category Memoir.
 
The faith of every book and author depends on their readers. I thank you for supporting me.
 
BJ
 
Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
 
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09/17/2017
Paperback: The Waiting is Over!

The long journey is over and I have reached my destination! After a long delay and lots of postponing, my novella A World Without Color is available as paperback!
 
On September 13, 2017 it was released for publication on CreateSpace and since yesterday, September 16, 2017, it is available for purchase on Amazon as well.
 
If you prefer a paperback over an e-book (like me), go grab your copy!
 
You curl up in your new hideout, and the soft light of the April afternoon washes your worn-out body. You are aware of my closeness. You confirm that with a gentle sigh while my palm tenderly slides down your fur. You still like my touch, although pain is what you now mostly feel. And uncertainty—but for how long?
 
Beside the new paperback release, A World Without Color e-book is until September 25 in the Anniversary Giveaway on the Animal Bliss blog. Enter it now to get a chance to be one of the two lucky winners!
 
If you like the cover of my book, please cast a vote for it in AUTHORSdb Cover Contest 2017 and help it make it to the next round!
 
Thank you for purchasing and reading A World Without Color, for writing an honest review and posting it on Amazon and for giving my book a long life!
 
Thank you for your patience and for not losing faith in me!
 
BJ
 
Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
 
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09/25/2020
Readers’ Favorite Gold for A World Without Color!

A World Without Color got a great recognition—the Gold Medal in the Fiction–Animals category in 2020 Readers’ Favorite International Book Award Contest!

Readers’ Favorite recognizes A World Without Color by Bernard Jan in its annual international book award contest, currently available at Amazon.

The Readers’ Favorite International Book Award Contest featured thousands of contestants from over a dozen countries, ranging from new independent authors to NYT best-sellers and celebrities.

Readers’ Favorite is one of the largest book review and award contest sites on the Internet. They have earned the respect of renowned publishers like Random House, Simon & Schuster, and Harper Collins, and have received the “Best Websites for Authors” and “Honoring Excellence” awards from the Association of Independent Authors. They are also fully accredited by the BBB (A+ rating), which is a rarity among Book Review and Book Award Contest companies.

Readers’ Favorite receives thousands of entries from all over the world. Because of these large submission numbers, they are able to break down their contest into 140+ genres, and each genre is judged separately, ensuring that books only compete against books of their same genre for a fairer and more accurate competition. They receive submissions from independent authors, small publishers, and publishing giants such as Random House, HarperCollins and Simon & Schuster, with contestants that range from the first-time, self-published author to New York Times bestsellers like J.A. Jance, James Rollins, and #1 best-selling author Daniel Silva, as well as celebrity authors like Jim Carrey (Bruce Almighty), Henry Winkler (Happy Days), and Eriq La Salle (E.R., Coming to America).

“When the right books are picked as winners we pay attention. We will be spreading the word about Readers' Favorite.”—Karen A., Editor for Penguin Random House

Readers’ Favorite is proud to announce that A World Without Color by Bernard Jan won the Gold Medal in the Fiction–Animals category.

You can learn more about Bernard Jan and A World Without Color at Readers’ Favorite where you can read reviews and the author’s biography, as well as connect with the author directly or through his website and social media pages.

“It is a wonderful story for fans of animals, especially cat lovers. Reading about the desolation and the loneliness of the narrator, the reader understands the place that Marcel occupied in his life as a companion . . . It is a story that explores themes of loss and grief and that celebrates a connection with a cat, a connection that brought meaning to the life of the narrator.” - Christian Sia for Readers’ Favorite

Please check out A World Without Color at BookAwards.Com.

Thank you.

BJ

11/11/2017
Review Me

I don't want to prejudge it, but there is a great chance—and hope!—that you've read A World Without Color, my first book I published this summer in English. And if you read it as an e-book or paperback, there is even greater hope you liked it! At least this is what I like to think, haha!

But did you share your thoughts about it with someone? There is a simple way for everyone to hear what you think of my true story of the last three days I spent with my cat. For that you need an Amazon or Goodreads account through which you can post your review that can range from a simple sentence to a small article, depending on how impressed you are and motivated to test your own writing skills!

Why are reviews so important to indie authors like me? Because many readers use them as a reference point whether to pursue with buying a book or skipping it altogether. The more reviews, the more people read your book. Cool, right? Sure, except getting there is not always so cool and easy.

This is why I ask you: if you loved my book, if it brought any emotion in you, please post your review. Don't be shy, a simple line or two will do. Anything more than that is a welcome bonus for me!

I want to show you with a few examples how easy it is. Below there are highlights of five authors and readers who read my book, their reviews on Amazon, Goodreads and their blogs. You can see their complete reviews in the Review A World Without Color page on my website or by following the links to their original posts on Amazon and Goodreads.

The tale is poetic, heartfelt and unique. I was pleased to read such a fine story by a talented, compassionate author. - Amazon Customer, Amazon

Bernard Jan describes the life of his beloved cat with such poignancy. His writing style is straightforward and emotionally moving. Happier times with Marcel brought a smile to my lips, while his deteriorating decline brought tears to my eyes. Most moving of all was the author’s profound love, devotion, and grief for his cat. - Leigh Holland, Amazon and Goodreads

Bernard Jan has taken a piece of his own heart and soul and put down in words, his feelings, his thoughts, and the utter devastation of the raw loss of his beloved pet. - Dianne, Tome Tender and Goodreads

If you're looking for a sad story then this is for you. (...) I felt that I was Bernard at the end of the book, I love books that pull me in and make me feel that I'm part of the book. You'll have to read it for yourself to experience this. - Angel Ramon Medina, indie author, The Hybrid Nation

In this book, the author tells his whole story about what his cat Marcel’s last 3 days were like interlaced with memories of the past. He writes about the effects of losing a best friend for himself and his family. (...) At multiple times I cried and could feel his emotions. He expresses what he’s feeling physically, his thoughts and emotions, everything so raw and real. Despite the sadness, I love the way this author writes. - Mischenko, ReadRantRock&Roll, Amazon and Goodreads

I hope those reviews won't discourage you; quite on the contrary, I wish they give you courage and determination to plow through my emotional and honest read and experience with me the last three days I spent with my Marcel.

You can purchase my e-book or paperback on Amazon or read it for free on KindleUnlimited. Either way, your review counts! And in either, both or any way, I will be grateful for your honest review because honest reviews are the only reviews I care about.

Once you post them contact me and I will repost them on my website and blog their highlights in one of my future posts here as motivation and encouragement for others, if you have nothing against it.

Thank you for purchasing, reading, reviewing and recommending my book by word of mouth! This is the best way to support me as an indie author and for making your voice and thoughts heard by many!

Thank you for your love because there is no greater joy than to share what you love with those who appreciate it!

Bernard Jan
www.bernardjan.com

Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media 

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01/18/2018
Review Me Part 2

I wish and hope that this year has started in a grand style for you and that will carry on like that all the way through and even further!

No reason for me to complain, because I continue to get your reviews and that means you are reading my book A World Without Color, which is the greatest reward and a gift to any writer!

When I read books before I didn't realize how important reviews are. Even if it is just one sentence. As long as they are honest and you speak from the heart.

With your review you recommend the book you loved and enjoyed reading and you also help bring more readers through the complicated Amazon algorithm. Putting it simply, the more books you buy, the more reviews you write, the more you will help a book with its ranking.

Allow me to share with you a few more honest reviews which A World Without Color received at the beginning of this and during the last year.

This short powerful novella is a must read. It gave me permission to stop grieving in many ways, because Bernard Jan told me it was okay to feel like I did and it was okay to move on, despite suffering an emptiness that will never be filled. I would give this book to anyone who has pets, because it will give you an insight into what will happen one day. We’re telling you it is okay and that you aren’t alone. - Haley Jenkins, Selcouth Station and Goodreads

As someone who has worked with hospice, in hospital, health care centers, and survivor’s of loss and trauma, for close to 40 years, I must say that this is one of the most honest, compassionate, and understanding description of what grief can feel like that I have ever read – and I’ve read a lot of books about grief, loss, death and bereavement. - Gabriel Constans, Amazon and Gabriel Constans blog

A heart-wrenching memoir of a man's last three days in the life of his beloved cat. (...) The reader can truly feel the anguish Bernard felt watching his beloved feline's life be extinguished. (...) Thank you Bernard! - Stacy from Two Gals and a Book, Goodreads

When I started reading A World Without Color, from the very first few sentences I knew what it would be like and I was very emotional from beginning to end. (...) I am a cat owner and found myself identifying with the authors feelings and grieving process. I loved this book and I highly recommend it to all to read. - Starjustin, Goodreads

This book is incredibly well written the only reason i gave it 4 stars instead of 5 is purely down to how hard and upsetting it was to read which is just a credit to how well it was written. Unfortunately it was that upsetting to read i nearly struggled to sit and carry on which is why i had to knock it down a star. Well worth a read if you feel as though you are up to it. - Justin, Goodreads

Death never arrives easy. Here, Bernard Jan chronicles the final stage in the life of a cat named Marcel, as Bernard, his family, and Marcel face Marcel’s death. The capacity for the depth of bond in an interspecies way has always amazed me. This has been illustrated to me very recently with the death of my own cat, Poppy. She was the runt of the litter, not meant to survive, smaller than my undersized palm when she arrived, but she lived for just about twenty-five years. I relay my story because this short book reflects the dilemmas and conflicted emotions faced when dealing with, and having ultimate responsibility for, the final breath of a creature greatly loved. - Rebecca Gransden, Goodreads and Amazon UK

A special thanks to Mischenko and Starjustin. After reading both their deeply moving reviews- I wanted to purchase this book for our younger daughter who has two cats. (...) In this short story we are witness to a beautiful love story between a cat and his owner and the family they are a part of. Gut wrenching loss when death comes. Rest In Peace Marcel.... - Elyse, Goodreads

​If you like these beautiful words of authors, readers and reviewers who honored my book with their honest reviews, please purchase A World Without Color as e-book or paperback, or read it for free with Kindle Unlimited. And don't forget to leave an honest review on Amazon, Amazon UK or Goodreads, or your personal website or blog, for I will feature your review on my website and my booklife profile, unless you wish otherwise. And I may even shout it out to my dear subscribers via my newsletter!

Thank you for all your wonderful support to A World Without Color and for spreading the word about it! You are the reason and my motivation to carry on.

Thank you and have a wonderful January!

BJ
www.bernardjan.com

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02/17/2018
Subscribe and Get a Gift Voucher!

I have very interesting news and offer for you!

If you still ponder whether to subscribe to my email list and blog Muse, this might be the right moment to do it. Why? Check this cool offer I have for you!

Do you need a logo design, flyers & posters, business cards, banner ads, book cover design or social media design? Do you dream of an attractively designed website? Or wish for an inspiring video trailer with the latest video effects and design for your book or business?

You can get it now with just one click!

In collaboration with MKM Media, a freelance graphic designer from Rome, a 30% discount on graphic design, web design, and video editing is waiting for you. After subscribing to my blog/email list, all you need to do is download the e-voucher and get your discount. In a few simple steps, you can enjoy the benefits of this innovative graphic designer!

Cool, right?

If you are skeptical and don't trust me, you can trust the voters and readers who awarded the cover he made for my book A World Without Color with the 3rd place in Cover Wars in Author Shout one-week contest, the 2nd place in the AllAuthor Cover of the month August contest and gold or the 1st place in the Literary Fiction category of AUTHORSdb contest!

When you hit the Get Your Bonuses button, you will also see a reminder where you can read my true story of the last three days I spent with my cat for free with Kindle Unlimited. But only for a limited time!

So grab this wonderful opportunity Mario from MKM Media has for you, read my book while you exchange your ideas with him and leave an honest review on Amazon when you are done reading.

Welcome to my growing team of friends and followers! And never forget to share what you love with those who appreciate it!

BJ

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Get your GIFT VOUCHER here: www.bernardjan.com!

11/01/2017
The Voting Goes On!

When I told you that my book A World Without Color was nominated for the TCK Publishing 2017 Readers Choice Awards I didn't know over 1,000 authors signed up for the contest! That is a huge number! Winning in such a strong competition is like winning a lottery three times instead of one but that doesn't prevent us from taking part in that contest and having fun!
 
If you think the true story of the last three days I spent with my cat Marcel deserves to compete for this title, vote for it! Those of you who already read it have posted great reviews on Amazon and Goodreads (we will talk about those reviews at another time) but now, please, give it your vote too.
 
Readers have already voted 21,424 times in just the first 2 months for their favorite nominated books and this number will sky-rocket by the end of the voting on December 10. Will your vote be among them as well?
 
Please follow this link to browse to page 6/16 to the category Memoir and vote for A World Without Color. Thank you!
 
In another contest, my book cover has passed the first round voting for the 2017 AUTHORSdb Cover Contest and has entered the semi-finals!
 
Everyone praises A World Without Color cover and has very well accepted it! If you like it, don't wait any longer, please cast your vote here now for the 2017 AUTHORSdb Cover Contest! Thanks!
 
#PrayForNewYork
 
In the series of attacks on towns and their residents all over the western world, the people of New York City and Manhattan are its last target and victims. My thoughts, support and love go to everyone in my beloved town, especially to those who suffered and lost someone yesterday.
 
As I said 16 years ago, I say it now again: New York, I love you more than ever!
 
BJ
 
Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
 
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11/30/2017
Your Last Votes For This Year

December 10 is so near, almost here, and with it your last chance to vote for your book of the year. If you like my novella, A World Without Color true story of the last three days with my cat Marcel, give it your vote of confidence and improve its rating!
 
Just follow these simple steps: by clicking in the TCK Publishing 2017 Readers Choice Awards contest go to page 6/16 to the category Memoir and cast your vote for A World Without Color. Since it is rather simple and doesn't require email registration, you can also invite your friends to do the same! Thanks!
 
A World Without Color is also a great gift for everyone who has / had a cat or any other companion animal or for everyone who has ever felt deeply. So when you are thinking about buying a present for your loved ones or even yourself (why not?!) remember A World Without Color. It will warm your heart in cold and long winter days.
 
A World Without Color is available as paperback and e-book on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.
 
Thank you and my very best wishes to everyone!
 
Bernard Jan
www.bernardjan.com
 
Cover photo by Zach Singh; Cover design by Mario Kožar MKM Media
 
Join my mailing list, subscribe to blog Muse!

Formats
Kindle Edition eBooks Details
  • 07/2017
  • 978-953-59581-0-9 B071FTK9HV
  • 105 pages
  • $2.99
Paperback Details
  • 09/2017
  • 978-9535958116
  • 105 pages
  • $8.99
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