My name is Evadne Cavell and I have an embarrassing secret. I go to dark theaters and let anonymous men fondle me in the dark. Why do I do this? Because I’m the proverbial “good girl,” the youngest daughter of a prominent family. Because I’m stuck teaching at a private Denver college with a new administration intent on taking the “liberal” out of liberal arts. Because I need a way to vent my sexual frustration. The men I encounter don’t want big, beautiful Black women like me—not out in the open anyway. Because I have to stay in control. I lost control three years ago—in public—and live in fear of being exposed. At the same time, I want to be an object—touched, petted, wanted—desired—but by my rules. In the theater I can look and I can touch, but no names, no eye contact, and no talking. Then I meet Joshua Delaney, a graphic artist from Texas who has me breaking my rules faster than a tornado leveling a trailer park. Soon I’m doing things with him I’ve never done before. The pressure is building inside me and I can’t go on like this forever. Can I live my life without shame when society feels entitled to define me?