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Melinda Rucker Haynes
Author, Contributor, Editor (anthology), Service Provider
Bitten: Confessions of a Menopausal Vampire
Kristen's fiancé Rick turns into Houdini and pulls a disappearing act. Now years later her husband deserts her for a younger woman. Disgusted with life itself, menopausal to boot, she doesn't know what to do when Rick turns up—still young and handsome. Against her better judgment, but with her hormones going haywire, she accepts a date, and finds herself waking up in the morgue as an illegally made vampire. Rick must hide his mistake or everyone dies. But Kristen refuses to go quietly undead into the dark, because her age, lack of estrogen and other physical and mental anomalies make her a very unusual powerful vampire with none of the limitations. And she has a bucket list a mile long of people who have done her wrong, and an eternity for payback.
Haynes’s quirky paranormal novel introduces a snarky vampire with raging hormones who never quite takes control of her life. Depressed Kristen goes to dinner with her ex-fiancé, Rick, and wakes up in the morgue. When she staggers home, she encounters Rick, who explains that he intended to drain Kristen dry but accidentally turned her into a vampire instead. To make matters worse, vampire powers manifest extra strongly in menopausal women. If Kristen doesn’t learn to control her unpredictable new powers so Rick can hide his mistake, her undead life will be very short. The story is told in Kristen’s stream-of-consciousness narration, which often falls prey to info-dumping and disjointed pacing; Kristen can be witty as she laments her situation, but readers might wish for her to take more action. Werewolves, ghosts, and riddles set up the possibility of an entertaining series once Haynes gets in gear. (BookLife)