Sixteen-year-old Starbucks is a second-generation sponsee in Life Sponsorship, the worldwide program that provides financial assistance to parents in exchange for the naming rights to their children. Beholden to the contract his parents signed before he was born, Starbucks begrudgingly fulfills his contractual obligations while attending Dunkin’ Donuts High with his friends PepsiCo, Subway, and Kellogg’s—upon whom Starbucks has a not-so secret crush. Things start to get complicated for Starbucks when he crosses Papa John’s, the star middle-linebacker and campus sociopath who gets his kicks harassing Pats—students whose sponsorship has been revoked and who are scorned for their societal transgressions. As Wannabes, Starbucks and his friends are lower on the high school social ladder than Blue Chips and Untouchables, but anything’s better than the stigma that comes with being a Pat. But after a trio of Pats comes to his rescue, Starbucks begins to question the inequities of Life Sponsorship. When he meets an Unwashed brother and sister who were born without a sponsor, Starbucks becomes intrigued by their unsponsored souls and embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will lead him to embrace his own unique identity—one that doesn’t come wrapped up in a slogan, logo, or a registered trademark.