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Don't Walk Away

Don’t Walk Away, a Care Partner’s Journey, is the story of Mom and me, navigating a life with late-stage dementia.  Filled with hope, joy and lessons learned — told as Mom lived, in moments, quickly forgotten but filled with laughter and discovery.  And me, joining her, as a partner, building the best possible life for both of us.

I grew up in the shadow of Alzheimer’s. Nearly everyone in Dad’s family and many in Mom’s developed the disease.  Mom warned us.  “Keep your distance.  Your father and I will be in a safe place; there is nothing more you can do, so walk away.”  I believed her.  Then Mom began to paint.

Everything changed.  Her fascinating paintings opened my eyes, ears, heart, and soul to a woman who definitely had something to say.  So much to say–an appreciation of beauty, an enduring sense of humor and whimsy, more than a little mischief, and occasionally sadness and grief. All I had to do was to look and listen. 

I joined her in real time where there are no worries, no regrets, no deadlines, no hurry—just the moment, clear, precious, and lived as it comes – where everything is, to use Mom’s words, “just delightful.”  My visits with Mom stopped being dutiful, becoming for me essential—a source of joy and a path of personal discovery. 

It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

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