Spending most of her adolescence in Singapore, Lina is an angry, depressed young girl whose "false memories" cause her to nurture an irrational hatred of her family and most authoritative figures in her life. Though she is highly intelligent, Lina sabotages her education to spite her parents and is constantly rebelling against their concerns and advice for her life path. A talented writer and singer, Lina fluctuates between dreams of being a tattoo artist and being a famous actress or musician. In her states of delusion, Lina believes the only cause for her lack of success is the overbearing rules of her father, who is often away on business. In truth, Lina and her older sister, who also is sinking into depression, have little structure and guidance in their lives aside from him.
At times wrenching in its candidness—there are references to suicidal thoughts and rape— Lina's story is touching, heartbreaking, and moving, a stark exploration of mental illness, undiagnosed and unchecked. Readers will become immersed in Lina's reflections and come to understand what it is like for an individual and a family facing Borderline Personality Disorder.
Takeaway: Unflinching novel of growing up with borderline personality disorder.
Comparable Titles: Hilary Smith’s Welcome to the Jungle, Bassey Ikpi’s I'm Telling the Truth but I'm Lying.
Production grades
Cover: B
Design and typography: A
Illustrations: N/A
Editing: A
Marketing copy: A
12 May 2023
Emo Reality: The Biography of Teenage Borderline Personality Disorder
by Jerold Daniels
Singapress
"Encouraging voyeurism into my personal life had led me to exaggerate my problems instead of solving them."
The daughter of a wealthy father whose work takes the family around the world, Lina recalls her preteen years playing violin and enjoying school in America, Europe, and India. During middle and high school in Singapore, however, she begins to become unstable. She experiences nightmares and voices. She doesn’t do homework and fights with friends and family. Regardless of her father's efforts to hold the family together, her parents get a divorce as a result of her mother's infidelity. Depressed, Lina cuts herself, wears black, and expresses her dark moods on social media. She moves to America after high school to pursue her goal of being an independent artist. Planning a move to London, she remains in America, practicing tattoo art and then selling her YouTube videos while sharing an apartment with an abusive bouncer. Eventually moving to London, she and a supportive partner help each other heal from their pasts.
Solutions to lifelong struggles are found with a diagnosis in this poignant book. Lina’s raw emotions are described in verbatim conversations, memories, and songs, showing a girl in crisis while her parents press her on schoolwork and a future she resists. Author Daniels clearly depicts the ways wealth and scholastic success can cause pressure and strain. For example, private school expectations and comparisons to classmates stress Lina, while her parents blame her for underachieving. In response, she looks online for validation and connection.
Daniels next shows how, with the help of her partner and a therapist’s diagnosis of borderline personality in her twenties, Lina tracks false memories over time. The result is the ability to change her behavior, starting with amending her online presence and developing a persona she and others like. The setting then broadens from an exclusively internal landscape at the start, projected onto the internet, to include scenes of her physical, life-affirming relationships in her London apartment at the end. This happy, fulfilled conclusion satisfies readers after such a dire story.
Book review by Mari Carlson
