Physician and minister Ball debuts with an intense analysis of his childhood trauma and the myriad ways it impacted him as an adult. The youngest of four siblings, Ball recounts his strict upbringing by cold and distant parents — including painful details of sexual abuse by a sibling — and delves into his dysfunctional adult relationships springing from unresolved trauma, all in the name of demonstrating that “the power of love” is what’s needed to repair “many of the things that ail humanity,” as “many homes and families are generationally inept at loving.” More memoir than self-help guide, this grueling account examines years of abuse and tumultuous family dynamics, mining Ball’s experiences for lessons in how to break trauma cycles.

Ball’s writing style evokes fireside diary entries with a dark edge. He initially focuses on the distant, demanding parenting of his upbringing, including never hearing “I love you” and exposure to regular verbal tirades with “backhanded” compliments. Later chapters touch on wrongs he suffered as an adult as well, including his first wife’s affair, his erasure from his ministry position, and his mother’s refusal to help him access scholarships for medical school. Ball reveals that these wounds culminated in a desire to end his life–but instead led to his discovery of the “diamonds of wisdom under the rubbish of my childhood trauma.”

Readers seeking their own trauma healing will appreciate Ball’s willingness to open old scars, though some of the abuse details can be triggering. He postpones discussion of recovery strategies until the book’s end—where he endorses nuggets like giving yourself permission to feel negative or positive emotions and refusing to fall into shame after failures—but readers seeking more concrete advice will have to look elsewhere. By often focusing on the faults of others, Ball will alienate some audiences, but for those who value raw memoirs that boldly dissect the lasting impacts of trauma, this account will make a lasting impression.

Takeaway: A piercing memoir of childhood trauma, supplemented with strategies to overcome and break the cycle.

Great for fans of: Janyne McConnaughey’s Brave,Chanel Miller’s Know My Name.

Production grades
Cover: C-
Design and typography: A
Illustrations: N/A
Editing: B
Marketing copy: C-