How to Win a Million Dollars is a madcap, self-deprecating, laugh-out-loud coming-of-age story that reads like David Sedaris meets Heartstopper, told as Ready Player One. It takes readers on an adventure through the wildly inventive, sometimes-questionable, but always entertaining schemes of a boy who would do anything to make it big.  Growing up as a gay Catholic schoolboy in a tiny Mississippi River town surrounded by cornfields, Luke’s imagination was constantly set on fire by million-dollar daydreams and DIY hustles. Whether it was hunting down the missing Cap’n Crunch or gaming McDonald’s Monopoly, no scheme was too ridiculous, no shortcut too far-fetched. With his trusty Hustler bike and a mountain of determination, Luke didn’t just dream—he plotted. Set in the 1980s, this is the story of a kid with a knack for scamming, hustling, and occasionally crashing and burning—all in the pursuit of that elusive big win. From navigating a Catholic school playground full of bullies to trying to “make it” out of a blue-collar family, Luke was always on the move, cooking up his next big adventure. Dragging his little sister—turned faithful sidekick—into trouble at every turn, her sweet voice was always in his ear, making us wonder: is he conning her, or is she saving him from himself? As Luke grew up, so did the schemes—high school musicals that sort of made him a Broadway star, ditching everything for the artist life in Paris, and getting cursed by a vengeful Hawaiian god. With each crazy plan, the stakes got higher, the twists got weirder, and Luke had to ask himself the big questions: Can you beat the system, or will the system beat you? And what do you do when your dreams—and all your wildest schemes—start to crumble? Packed with humor, heart, and an unstoppable spirit, How to Win a Million Dollars is a whirlwind ride through epic failures, surprising successes, and the realization that sometimes the journey is even better than the jackpot. From paperboy scams to glitter-filled art shows, this story is proof that while everything could fall apart at any moment, that’s just part of the fun. And maybe, just maybe, there’s a million-dollar prize still out there somewhere, waiting to be won.