Someone's Always Watching Me Pee (and Other Realities of Motherhood) carries on the honest, but funny mom baton into the next generation of mothers, offering unsolicited advice, unnecessary suggestions to avoid peeing a little when you sneeze, inaccurate medical statistics, unhelpful tips for keeping it all together and the possible illegal promotion of prescription medication. Universal and truthfully funny, Someone’s Always Watching Me Pee is the black-and-white version of our best girlfriend. This book answers the questions that keep us up at night and makes us feel a little better when we lie to our children (“McDonald’s is closed today”). This is not a book for those who share a family bed and jar their own baby food. This is for the moms who dole out Benadryl, not as an allergy medicine, but rather to get their kids to sleep on an airplane or long car ride. The moms whose infants, barely able to formulate but 5 words, can spot a McDonald’s or Chick-Fil-A and shout “Chicky Nugget!”. And this book is for moms who have, although briefly, (but still nonetheless terrifying) ever lost their child at a pumpkin patch, a grocery store, a mall, a Peter Piper Pizza... or all of the above.