TOO MUCH is the gripping true story of a woman's struggle to reclaim her marriage, career, and sanity while confronting a dark past and battling the complexities of mental health within the military medical system.
Poignant, brutal, and unflinchingly honest words bleed onto every page as Neighbors spares nothing—recounting an affair with a married man, receiving unfair probation and false accusations, and struggling with bouts of depression and paranoia. Her disarming candor about her guilt and imperfections—having a privileged background, self-sabotaging, self-loathing—are often painful to read, but her straightforwardness offers a merciless clarity on how addiction and impulsive decisions are merely misguided escapes from a "never-ending battle" with oneself, so often rooted in trauma, familial neglect, misjudgment, and mistreatment.
The fragmented prose jumps from memory to memory and may confuse some readers, but it mirrors the mania, paranoia, and sheer magnitude of problems that Neighbors contends with, suggesting how healing is never linear. Her story, both a candid confession of the courage it takes to embrace life's imperfections and a fierce fight for the truth, proves how "everyone has a degree of mental illness," even those who seem to have it all. This unapologetically unfiltered memoir empowers, imparting resilience and a raw plea to be kind—to others, but most especially, to ourselves.
Takeaway: Razor-sharp memoir about battling mental illness amid heavy external pressures.
Comparable Titles: Kay Redfield Jamison's An Unquiet Mind, Jamie Blaine and Vicky Lanzone’s Life Is Crazy and We’re All Going to Die.
Production grades
Cover: B-
Design and typography: A-
Illustrations: N/A
Editing: A-
Marketing copy: A-
Challenging but rewarding, Cindy Lee Neighbors’s TOO MUCH is an incisive memoir of the soul-crushing dysfunction of both medical and military culture in the US.
Born and raised in Hawaii, Cindy Lee Neighbors enjoys an apparently perfect life: she serves in the US Army as an otolaryngologist, married to another Army surgeon and surrounded by the natural beauty of her home state. But a troubled childhood plants the seeds of countless struggles and disappointments, and friction in both her personal and professional lives derails Neighbors’s plans for her perfect life.
TOO MUCH is a fascinating memoir. The realities of publication mean that its expected and intended audience will be English-speaking Americans, and, for much of that audience, Neighbors’s story will be enlightening if not outright shocking. Her emotional journey involves a great deal of de-mythologizing “heroic” American institutions (most explicitly tied up in her marriage to another servicemember and doctor, a veteran of Afghanistan), and that in itself generates a lot of interest. It’s a privileged peek at the dysfunction of the Army (and of hospital staff) in ways that are unsurprising but still uncomfortable for those who cleave to those American cultural myths. In narrative terms, this de-mythologizing is well-structured and well-paced. There’s a clear psychological and emotional reality in progressing from child/parent relationship-related trauma to broader challenges with forming interpersonal relationships to friction in the workplace—and ultimately a near-break from reality itself. However, rendering this progression as narrative isn’t necessarily straightforward. TOO MUCH strikes a successful balance: the reader sees this progression, and appreciates Neighbors’ flaws and mistakes, but still cares about her.
TOO MUCH sometimes feels stylistically conservative. A self-conscious memoir, the text rarely takes a “scenic” approach that would feel like creative nonfiction. Hawaii, for instance, is ever-present, and Neighbors frequently goes to the ocean to reflect (or party), but aside from a few images like palm trees “casting dappled shadows on the turquoise water,” there’s little scenic detail. Specific interactions with others are brisk; patterns of behavior are described instead. Though it may feel cool or distant to some readers, this choice reflects the focus of the text: it is, in essence, a memoir of the author’s psychological and emotional states, and the narrative distance from the setting or specific events is a reflection of Neighbors’s increasing alienation from reality. This also, surprisingly, builds empathy: Neighbors’s confusion about her own frustrations and paranoia (on a slippery slope from typical gender-based workplace challenges to feelings of acute persecution) are very successfully conveyed to the reader.
Despite its apparent simplicity, TOO MUCH manages to subtly and powerfully negotiate the challenges of memoir. Its critiques of institutional cultures—especially medical and military cultures—are built on a solid foundation of empathy for its flawed but honest narrator.
Challenging but rewarding, Cindy Lee Neighbors’s TOO MUCH is an incisive memoir of the soul-crushing dysfunction of both medical and military culture in the US.
~Dan Accardi for IndieReader
TOO MUCH
BY CINDY LEE NEIGHBORS ‧
RELEASE DATE: AUG. 24, 2024
An uncompromising probe into the medical industry fused with an honest account of mental illness.
In this debut memoir, a retired United States Army Captain recounts the professional and personal hardships she endured as a military medical resident.
Neighbors started military medical school in Maryland in the 2010s aiming to become an otolaryngologist—an ear, nose, and throat doctor. It was at the school that the author met Paul, an officer who’d served in the infantry before deciding to become an Army physician. The two fell into a relationship that they tried to keep secret, as Paul was married. There were warning signs about Paul that Neighbors willfully ignored, like his then-wife threatening to file assault charges, which ultimately led to his court martial. This was quickly followed by Neighbors losing her dad, Roger, to a terminal disease. After she and the freshly divorced Paul were married, they were assigned to a hospital in Hawaii, Neighbors’ home state. While Paul worried about how his court martial would play out, Neighbors struggled with her ENT residency. Apparently, some people (mostly coworkers) complained that she was rude or too abrasive; her program director even indirectly said she had “resting bitch face.” Continued scrutiny and accusations of behavior problems led to the author being put on probation and seeing a therapist at an outpatient rehab facility. Both her marriage and her mental health were deteriorating, and Neighbors, who suffered from such conditions as anxiety and depression, began abusing a prescription drug. She nevertheless fought to improve her waning health and prove herself as a medical professional, which meant fighting to keep a residency that others seemed determined to end.
The author holds very little back when turning the spotlight on herself. She candidly discusses her ever-changing state of mind, like the growing resentment she had for Paul, or her feeling that doctors and nurses at the hospital had built a conspiracy against her. The hurdles she faced as a resident are dispiriting, as coworkers generally denigrated her “Barbie in the Army” persona (presumably based on her looks) and encouraged her to stay “middle of the road” in lieu of being her best. She likewise felt out of place as a hapa (multiracial) person, as people constantly questioned her ethnicity after learning she was from Hawaii. While Neighbors aptly describes a toxic work environment, her personal life compounded her troubled residency. She had a strained relationship with her mother, who had abandoned her husband and kids for a time and blamed the author for “killing” Roger (she convinced her father to sign a do-not-resuscitate order). Neighbors delves into her own mental health issues, discussing a suicide attempt made when she was a teen as well as various afflictions, medications, and addictions that she doesn’t fully detail until late in the book. Neighbors is unquestionably a skilled writer; she delivers wonderfully concise passages that breezily take readers through years of residency while succinctly clarifying various medical conditions and hospital roles (with a glossary as a bonus addendum).
An uncompromising probe into the medical industry fused with an honest account of mental illness.
Too Much
Cindy Lee Neighbors
CLN Publishing LLC (2024)
ISBN: 979-8890341600
Reviewed by J. L. Askew for Reader Views (12/2024)
“Too Much” by Cindy Lee Neighbors is a memoir about a woman’s dreams of being a doctor becoming stillborn because of her progressive drug dysfunction. Beautiful and talented, she graduates from USC, aspiring to be an actress but when that ambition falters, she joins the Army for “free” medical school. Then problems crop up and begin to accumulate, made worse by bad choices trying to fix issues, which slows her progress until she falls behind her peers. Her friends advance toward becoming practicing doctors while she is held back by remediation protocols, probation, and suspensions, languishing for five years in the medical residency program.
The story opens on a Hawaiian beach, “a better place than jail or a psycho ward” she tells herself as she awaits her fate at the hands of the Army’s judicial system. On extended medical leave, she spends her days hiking the beach and at her computer during manic periods, sending emails and writing. She seriously considers suicide, but her medical knowledge of possible outcomes dissuades her. In a book replete with negatives, one positive stands out: a commander tells her to drop efforts to write a novel and instead “tell your story.” She has become a whistleblower and should tell about it.
This book is the result. But how did she get this way? When family crises erupt, the author uses flashbacks to fill in the backstory about drug use as a teenager. This began a pattern for every difficulty of life, becoming a familiar crutch, mixed with toxic behavior such as exercising her charms to manipulate men, “a special forte” she used to get what she wanted.
Immersive writing describing bouts of paranoia and psychosis may give readers suspicions they’re in the hands of an unreliable narrator but in truth, Neighbors is unstintingly true to her lived experience, depicting her descent into the darkest regions of the human soul. Some passages appear as if in a fog, voices from friends trying to reach her, help her, inform her. After reading “Too Much” it’s easy to question how a person with such dysfunction could write a book because she’s a basket of contradictions and her life is marked with excess.
Maybe I was too crazy to be a doctor. Too stupid to ignore the truth. Too smart to ignore it. Too psychotic to stop thinking. Too beautiful to fade away.
She was “too much.” That was her problem. But how did she change? She entered an outpatient therapy program where she succeeded “with flying colors.” That was a start, a turning point in a long struggle. Then she becomes a whistleblower, channeling her manic episodes into changing the system. But writing this book is the final expiation.
Neighbors’ writing is stunningly personal and she handles the first-person point of view as a natural. Her memoir feels like Kerouac’s “On the Road” although the travel here is through the author’s mind, the claustrophobic existence of her daily life. Yet the journey is no less captivating. Neighbors has written a true expression of one person bound by mental illness and breaking free. “Too Much” grabs the reader in the opening pages and doesn’t turn loose until the very end. The book should be required reading for young people and if one never touches drugs as a result then Neighbors has been truly vindicated.
Too Much by Cindy Lee Neighbors is a powerful memoir that delves into the unraveling of a brilliant physician's life as she becomes consumed by her obsession with revenge.
Dr. Neighbors’ relentless pursuit of justice leads her into a downward spiral of addiction and paranoia, distorting her reality and endangering everything she holds dear. This harrowing true story explores the devastating consequences of vengeance, questioning the limits of human endurance and the cost of obsession. Neighbors bravely shares her deeply personal and turbulent journey, offering readers an unflinching look into the dark side of obsession and how dangerously it can deflect us from what’s really important in life.
I adored the bold storytelling style, with a no-nonsense narrative voice that is both raw and compelling, making the emotional weight of her experiences resonate on different psychological, emotional, and dramatic levels. You get a real sense of who the author is and what it would be like to meet her in person in the way her confident, honest tone leaps from the pages. It’s sometimes jarring to suddenly remember that this is a true story, such is the gravitas of Cindy Lee Neighbors’ vivid exploration of addiction and mental health, and the book raises important questions about how we can try to understand when people get stuck in such dangerous bad patterns. The memoir’s introspective nature and reflective tone encourage readers to consider what they perceive about justice and revenge, and there’s a powerful warning about self-destruction when we let those negative motivators take over.
Overall, Too Much is a powerful and well-penned memoir that is interesting, moving, and fascinating to explore.
-Reviewed by K.C. Finn for Readers' Favorite
TOO MUCH received a 4+ star review, making it an IndieReader Approved title.
Following find an interview with author Cindy Lee Neighbors.
What is the name of the book and when was it published?
TOO MUCH, published August 24, 2024.
What’s the book’s first line?
“This is better than jail or a psych ward—is what I tell myself.”
What’s the book about? Give us the “pitch”.
TOO MUCH is the gripping true story of a woman’s struggle to reclaim her marriage, career, and sanity while confronting a dark past and battling the complexities of mental health within the military medical system.
What inspired you to write the book? A particular person? An event?
I was pushed to a breaking point. My mental health was suffering, and I felt trapped in a cycle of self-judgment and a desperate need for validation. Writing about my past with brutal honesty became my way forward, my path to healing and reclaiming my narrative.
What’s the main reason someone should really read this book?
I believe TOO MUCH will resonate with anyone who has wrestled with mental health challenges, addiction, or the complexities of supporting a loved one facing these issues. It’s a raw and unflinching exploration of these topics, offering a glimpse into the inner turmoil and emotional journey of someone navigating these struggles.
What’s the most distinctive thing about the main character? Who—real or fictional—would you say the character reminds you of?
This is a challenging question because the main character is me! However, I strived to portray myself and the other characters with kindness and understanding. We all have flaws and weaknesses, and I wanted to make everyone relatable by showing those vulnerabilities. Ultimately, I believe everyone, no matter how “unlovable” they may seem at times, deserves to be heard and valued. No one is ever “too much.”
When did you first decide to become an author?
The dream of becoming a published author has been with me since middle school. I’ve always loved writing, from poems and short stories to vignettes. My early training in theater and performing arts, along with my studies in film production at USC, further fueled my passion for storytelling. I’ve even dabbled in screenwriting, a challenging field, especially for women.
Is this the first book you’ve written?
TOO MUCH is my first published book.
What do you do for work when you’re not writing?
I am still a licensed physician, but due to the circumstances detailed in TOO MUCH, I am not currently practicing medicine. I hope to continue making a difference in the community through creative arts, volunteer services, and advocacy for mental health awareness.
Which writer, living or dead, do you most admire?
Shakespeare.
Which book do you wish you could have written?
Hamlet or Macbeth. Though technically plays, they are masterpieces of storytelling. I also deeply admire The Giver by Lois Lowry.
For many, reading and writing are inherently exploratory concepts, allowing participants to peer into the minds of others and attain a kind of empathy and humanity that can be difficult to find elsewhere. TOO MUCH, a memoir by Dr. Cindy Lee Neighbors, reflects this desire for connection to impart healing and empowerment to her readers.
"TOO MUCH" is a raw and unflinching look at one woman's journey through the challenges of medical training, mental health struggles, and finding her own voice. It's a must-read for anyone seeking inspiration, understanding, and a reminder that they're not alone in their struggles.
About Cindy Lee Neighbors, MD
Dr. Neighbors' journey has been nothing short of extraordinary, taking her from an aspiring actress to a writer and everything in between. To truly appreciate the depth and emotional value of her memoir, it's essential to understand the breadth of her experiences.
Dr. Neighbors was born and raised in the beautiful city of Honolulu, Hawaii, where she discovered her passion for storytelling at a young age. She took her love and enthusiasm for performance arts to the University of Southern California, where she earned her Bachelor's in Theater.
Soon after graduating, Dr. Neighbors answered the call to serve her country as an officer in the U.S. Army, embarking on a remarkable path as an Army surgeon. She earned her medical degree upon graduating with honors from the Uniformed Services University. She then completed her residency at Tripler Army Medical Center for Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery, where her groundbreaking research on reducing opioid prescriptions garnered national recognition and publication in esteemed medical journals.
Since retiring from the Army, Dr. Neighbors has returned to her creative roots, channeling her wealth of experience into the written word. TOO MUCH marks her powerful debut as an author.
TOO MUCH: A Reflection on Trauma and Healing
Through candid storytelling and powerful introspection, "TOO MUCH" offers readers a roadmap for navigating their own challenges and emerging stronger on the other side. Dr. Neighbors' story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, and her book is a beacon of hope for anyone who has ever felt lost or alone.
Dr. Neighbors' life has been filled with a rich tapestry of experiences—from the highs of academic achievement and military service to the depths of personal struggle and resilience. TOO MUCH draws from this wellspring, weaving together themes of resilience, perseverance, self-discovery, and identity into a narrative that is both deeply personal and universally relatable. While centered on Dr. Neighbors' own journey, the memoir reaches out to readers, inviting them to connect with their own feelings and experiences, making it a collaborative and involved read.
As Dr. Neighbors states, her intention for the memoir is to provide "hope, inspiration, [and] advocacy for self-care and mental health awareness." In writing about her own struggles in these areas, she hopes to help others realize and overcome their mental blockages.
More specifically, Dr. Neighbors explores the complexities of trauma, loss, and healing while celebrating the resilience of the human spirit. Through personal anecdotes, poignant reflections, and hard-won wisdom, she invites readers to join her on a journey of self-discovery, reminding them that even in the face of adversity, there is always hope for a brighter tomorrow.
"Writing TOO MUCH has been a cathartic experience, allowing me to process difficult emotions and gain new insights into my journey. I hope that sharing my story will not only shed light on important issues within the medical field but also inspire others to embrace their unique paths, no matter how unexpected they may be," said Dr. Neighbors.
If you're looking for a book that will challenge you, inspire you, and leave you feeling empowered, "TOO MUCH" is the perfect choice. Dr. Neighbors' candid and courageous memoir is a powerful reminder that even in the darkest of times, there is always hope for healing and transformation.
Life will always present people with difficult situations and choices that can linger long after they've passed. Recovering from those experiences can feel impossible, primarily when handled alone. Fortunately, people like Dr. Neighbors can share their experiences through texts like TOO MUCH to remind others they're not alone and that they are always worth any effort and care.
Please note: "TOO MUCH" contains sensitive content and discusses mental health topics, addiction, and trauma. Reader discretion is advised.
Dr. Cindy Lee Neighbors is a physician, writer, and advocate known for being published in several high-impact medical journals. In particular, her work to reduce opioid prescriptions has earned recognition on the national stage, promoting alternative solutions that do not lead to addiction.
Her debut memoir, TOO MUCH, is a raw and honest chronicle of her journey of trauma and healing through the challenges and triumphs of medical training, military service, and personal struggles.
Early Passion and Dedication
Born and raised in Honolulu, Hawai’i, Cindy began her artistic journey in childhood, landing commercial and print work. After participating in several local pageants and winning the title of Miss Teen Asian International, Cindy set her sights on becoming an actor in Los Angeles, pursuing a degree in theater at USC. It was during this time that Cindy answered the call to serve.
Now, Cindy is a former Otolaryngologist and retired US Army officer. She graduated with honors from Uniformed Services University and was trained at Tripler Army Medical Center in Honolulu. She found success in her career but realized that her passion for storytelling was greater, so she retired from military medicine to pursue a career in writing.
Discovering the Importance of Telling Her Story
When she set out to write her story, she realized she wasn’t prepared for her words’ impact on those around her and herself. She wondered whether sharing her experiences would help people or hurt them. When people came to her for guidance and solace, Cindy was honored to offer support but second-guessed herself.
“I realized,” says Cindy, “that my book had the potential to not only heal but also to harm. I wanted to ensure that my words didn’t glorify ‘bad behavior’ or encourage others to make reckless choices. I wanted to empower readers to take control of their own lives, while acknowledging that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to life’s challenges.”
For Cindy, the decision to finish writing TOO MUCH was cathartic. It allowed her to process difficult emotions and gain new insights into her journey. She also hoped that sharing her story would shed light on important issues within the medical field and inspire others to embrace their unique paths.
“In the end,” says Cindy, “I came to a simple conclusion: It’s just me. It’s just writing. It is what it is. I can’t please everyone, and I can’t control how my words will be interpreted. All I can do is share my truth with honesty and vulnerability, and hope that it resonates with those who need it most.”
A Pursuit of Discovery and Recognition
TOO MUCH is an honest and vulnerable exploration of the complexities inherent in trauma, healing, and loss, yet also a celebration of human resilience. Cindy invites readers to embark with her on self-discovery, radical healing, and reminders that there is always hope for a better tomorrow, even in the face of adversity. She helps the reader understand the power of words on people’s lives and how to reckon with the unintended consequences of telling your truth.
When Dr. Cindy Lee Neighbors set out to write her memoir TOO MUCH, she wasn’t prepared for the emotional storm it would unleash. As a military veteran and former physician, Dr. Neighbors had faced trauma, loss, and healing in ways that would challenge anyone. Yet, what surprised her most wasn’t the pain of reliving her past— it was the unexpected power of vulnerability and her truth’s ripple effects on those around her.
Dr. Neighbors’ journey, marked by trauma and triumphs, is woven into her writing with raw honesty. Her stories explore resilience, addiction, and the power of finding one’s voice. Now retired from the military, she is dedicated to using her experiences and voice to uplift and empower others, particularly those facing adversity.
From Physician’s Practice to Author’s Pen
Born and raised in Honolulu, Dr. Neighbors had no shortage of challenges. Her story began in the military, where she started her career as an Otolaryngologist after graduating with honors from the Uniformed Services University. Her research on reducing opioid prescriptions garnered national recognition, yet the obstacles she faced weren’t only professional—they were deeply personal.
Too Much captures the raw and often unspoken struggles of a woman who lived through trauma, addiction, and the complexities of balancing a high-stakes career with personal healing. Instead of glossing over the complex parts, Dr. Neighbors confronts them head-on with honesty and courage.
The Power of Vulnerability
Writing TOO MUCH was a cathartic experience for Dr. Neighbors, as it allowed her to process difficult emotions and gain new insights into her journey. She hopes that sharing her story will shed light on important issues within the medical field and inspire others to embrace their unique paths, no matter how unexpected.
“I wanted people to understand that success doesn’t mean you haven’t struggled. In fact, it’s the struggles that shape you the most,” Dr. Neighbors shares. Writing became a form of therapy, allowing her to reclaim her voice and offer hope to others navigating their battles.
The Ripple Effect of Sharing
People contacted Dr. Neighbors for support and advice as TOO MUCH reached readers. While honored to offer support, she recognized that telling her truth came with helping others without glorifying pain or promoting reckless choices.
“There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to life’s challenges,” Dr. Neighbors clarifies. Sharing her experiences, she hopes readers learn to embrace the complexity of life transitions. Whether confronting personal demons, navigating a male-dominated medical field, or transitioning into a new career, Dr. Neighbors hopes her readers will draw inspiration from the memoir as they navigate their lives.
Why Memoirs Like TOO MUCH Matter
Memoirs centered around trauma and healing have never been more relevant or necessary. According to PTSD United, nearly 70% of adults in the US have experienced some form of trauma, and the lasting effects can be profound. Trauma not only impacts mental health, but it also affects physical well-being, often leading to chronic health issues. More people are seeking ways to heal, and memoirs that offer personal stories of resilience provide readers with comfort and guidance.
Dr. Neighbors’ memoir is timely because the world is witnessing a significant rise in public awareness around mental health, addiction, and trauma recovery. Books like TOO MUCH are essential as they give voice to experiences often stigmatized or ignored. By sharing personal struggles, authors like Dr. Neighbors help destigmatize conversations around trauma, encouraging readers to seek help and explore their paths to healing.
Healing Through Words
For many people, especially for Dr. Neighbors, TOO MUCH is a lifeline for those whose pain has been silenced. It speaks to the resilience of the human spirit and the courage it takes to confront our deepest wounds. By sharing her journey, Dr. Cindy Lee Neighbors offers more than a story of personal growth; she provides a beacon of hope, proving that the path, healing, and reinvention are always possible no matter how difficult.
