When Life was Yellow (10,000 word count) is a brief but raw look into my struggle with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). From the time I was in grade school until college age, I was shackled to the monster behind my eyes futilely trying to escape from it. From drawing invisible boxes around my parents to keep them from being contaminated, invoking the “magical” power of the number five to rescue me from eternal damnation, to performing counting, checking and touching rituals to function throughout the day, I share the back-and-forth dialogue between my logical mind and my sick brain as they battle for dominance. After years of enduring obsessions, compulsions, and panic attacks, I finally reached out for help after being caught in a ritual. Initially, I’m disheartened by the help received from group and one-on-one therapy as I perceived the therapists truly didn’t understand the struggle of OCD and make light of it. Not until I am introduced to a psychiatrist who prescribes me Luvox do I finally see what living a normal life looks and feels like. Although now on medication and in therapy, OCD still rears its ugly head from time to time, but the quality of life is so much better. I’d like for others to know that there is hope. Prior to seeking help, living with OCD and the ensuing panic attacks overwhelmed me, leaving me helplessly witnessing life through an erratic energy of yellow light. I felt alone in suffering from OCD, as many do who struggle with this disorder. Realizing that I’m neither helpless nor alone, I’d like for others to know that life doesn’t have to be yellow.