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Joseph Willis, PhD
Author
How to Stand and Pee and not be a Dick about it--Rites of Passage: The Navigation of Masculinity between the Scylla of Radical F
This book describes various rites of passage into manhood to avoid bot emasculation from the left and toxic masculinity from the right.
Reviews
Blending self-help, gender studies, a strong dash of satire, Willis offers a sort of emotional and psychological roadmap for men looking for ways to embrace a healthy, forthright masculinity stripped of that term’s worst stereotypical traits (“male hyper-arrogance, male fear of intelligent females, the insane over-emphasis on sports and athletics,” and more) but also unafraid of the “bullies on the left” and a “false narrative of toxic manhood.” Calling for a mindful “traditional masculinity” that is “purged of alpha male worship,” Willis describes two familiar contemporary ideas of manhood that young men find themselves navigating between without guidance: the out-dated norms of the so-called “alpha”s who generally survive by blindly rambling over others, feelings be damned, or the “emasculated,” confused, and often lonely “male nerds, geeks, and good guys” who are in “desperate need” of an alternative.

Willis’s project is to guide readers to a third choice, one that reclaims the best of traditional masculinity, prepares men to meet the obligations of maturity, and prevents “masculine crises”—like porn addiction or inceldom—through rites of passage, actively encourages discussion and contemplation of what it means to be a good man, and more. There’s iclear-eyed, inspiring material throughout, though the text is often searching and somewhat arcane, especially as Willis contemplates the urgency of separating from one’s parents before their deaths, “petro males” and their lack of interest in recycling, how the intelligence of “blue-collar men” is often underestimated, or why young men should read Kipling, who is quoted at length. Readers unfamiliar with Scylla and Charbydis will have to Google.

Willis assigns some sharp advice to “co-author” Pluck, an “inner voice” who urges readers to “seek the highest internal standards” and offers reminders like “nonconformism is the gateway drug to comfort zone extraction.” There’s truth in that line, which exemplifies the spirit of this impassioned, at-times fusty book that, for all its eccentricities, offers much to consider, such as the importance of respecting family history, taking care of one’s health, maintaining basic civilities, always striving to learn, and not accepting simple ideas about what a man should be.

Takeaway: Impassioned call for a new, un-toxic masculinity.

Comparable Titles: Frederick Joseph’s Patriarchy Blues, bell hooks’s The Will to Change.

Production grades
Cover: B
Design and typography: A
Illustrations: N/A
Editing: A-
Marketing copy: A-

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