Writing to readers who might feel “locked” in cycles of negativity and arguments about alcohol with their partners, Palmer and her co-author and own partner, psychotherapist Michael Pond, offer clear, encouraging strategies to help loved ones drink less. Palmer demonstrates effective methods of communicating with partners about alcohol dependence through empathy, compassion, and an emphasis on results—and on how partners can be “a powerful force for positive change” in the lives of those they love. As the title suggests, You Don’t Have to Quit roadmaps achievable change rather than total abstinence, with Palmer making a persuasive case that “a harm reduction approach to alcohol improves your chances that you both feel successful in your efforts and keep your dignity intact.” To that end, Palmer’s 20 chapters each present steps for helping reduce a partner’s alcohol consumption, from seeing the signs of addiction and understanding what a partner is going through, to finding ways to diminish the harm that alcohol dependence causes—practical techniques include introducing a Sober Sunday, adding a glass of water between each drink, and encouraging the tracking of how much alcohol is being consumed. Later chapters prompt self-reflection on the part of the intervening partner, with Palmer explaining the efficacy of not laying blame and calling names, plus the urgency of positioning oneself as ally rather than victim. Allies, Palmer writes, “can collaborate with your partner, help them create goals, and figure out how to meet them.”
Throughout, Palmer offers encouragement and wisdom drawn from case studies as well as personal experience, all written with grace and sensitivity, plus up-to-date research on addiction and its treatment, and deep insight into the sources of alcohol dependence and how couples depend on each other—and push each other away. Palmer’s strategies are flexible, easy to understand, and presented with persuasive power, though she makes clear throughout that achieving these goals is a challenge.
Takeaway: Clear-eyed guide to helping partners reduce the harm of alcohol dependence.
Comparable Titles: Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, and Nicole Kosanke’s Beyond Addiction, Candace Plattor’s Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself.
Production grades
Cover: A
Design and typography: A
Illustrations: N/A
Editing: A
Marketing copy: A
