I write a humor column for Tribune News Service, which distributes it to six hundred papers nationwide and abroad. If you have ever wondered why the newspaper industry is in trouble, it would be because of me.

I am the author of seven books, "Leave It to Boomer," "The Empty Nest Chronicles," "Grandfather Knows Best," "Nini and Poppie's Excellent Adventures," "Every Day Is Saturday," "One for the Ageless" and "The Good Humor Man," all of which are crimes against literature. They also come in handy for propping up wobbly table legs. If you suffer from insomnia, you might even want to read them.

As a chilling example of just how low journalistic standards have sunk, I have won many awards, including eight for humorous writing from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.

I have a large social media presence, I have made many TV and radio appearances, I have done several YouTube videos, I have been on national podcasts, I am a popular public speaker, and I am writing a sitcom. If you think TV is bad now, wait until my show gets on the air.

I even have a blog: http://www.jerryzezima.blogspot.com

I live on Long Island, N.Y., with my wife, Sue. We have two daughters, five grandchildren and many creditors. I have no interesting hobbies.